“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
The waiter came over and took our order, and after we made our selections, it was just the two of us again and a bottle of wine. “I talked to my mom today.”
“How is she?”
“Other than being a little fake, she’s good.”
“Fake?”
“She called to catch up, but all she wanted to talk about was you.”
The smile that was in her eyes slowly started to fade, like I’d said the wrong thing.
“She asked if you were going to be around for a while. I said yes.”
Now she looked visibly uncomfortable, eyes dropping down to her wineglass like she was having a conversation with it instead of me. “I’vebeen thinking ... and maybe we should just keep this casual.” Her eyes remained down like she didn’t want to see my reaction.
My blood turned cold, but I didn’t let my face change. “What’s casual?”
“You know ...” She ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “We just hook up whenever, no strings attached.”
I would be more upset about this if she hadn’t already shown her hand. Now, she was trying to redraw the deck, but I wouldn’t let that fly. “And what does that solve?”
Her eyes finally lifted to mine.
“No.”
“No?”
“You aren’t the kind of woman you wear a condom with.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I don’t want to fuck other people, and you don’t want me to either.”
“But it could—”
“How about we just give this relationship a chance instead of finding ways to end it?” I asked. “You already said you’re falling for me, so you’re stuck. Don’t pretend you want to take a step back when you don’t. Don’t pretend you’re fine with me fucking other people when you aren’t.”
Her fingers rested under her chin, and her eyes searched the faces of other people in the restaurant. When she opened her heart to me, it was fucking beautiful. And then when she withdrew, all I felt was darkness. “When I said that, you were supposed to freak out.”
The smirk that moved on to my lips was uncontrollable. “You thought that would scare me off?”
“I didn’t say ittoscare you off. But afterward, I thought it might.”
“You can’t scare me off, sweetheart.” But any little thing I did spooked her. “Look, this is already a serious relationship, whether you like it or not. You know why? Because all we do is talk about how it’s going to work. If this were just two people fucking for a couple of weeks, there would be notalking. I understand you’re scared of everything my life entails, but you’ve forgotten just how tough you are.”
I knew I struck a chord when her eyes flicked away for just a nanosecond, like my words cut her deep, reminded her of the mess she’d been in Taormina. She’d been afraid to jump off that rock, but once she felt the high, she wanted to chase it forever.
My hand tightened into a fist and moved over my chest, just the way it had on top of that rock. “Tougher than my fist. Tougher than my mother. Tougher than the Roman Empire.”
She shifted her eyes away again as her fingers remained under her chin, looking like a Roman queen without even trying, her hair dark like winter soil, her eyes bright like the emeralds that should hang from her neck. “Doesn’t it bother you that I just got out of a relationship?”
“No.”
“Even though it’s been three weeks?”
“Could have ended yesterday, wouldn’t make a difference.”
