“You pardon them?”
“All the criminals throughout the country pay tariffs to the Roman Republic. That’s the price they pay for the operations to continue without impediment by the police. Sicily was part of the great unification of Italy in 1860, but because they’re technically an island, I was able to get them an exemption.”
“So, do they traffic and—”
“No. They adhere to my laws. They just don’t pay tariffs.”
His job really was complicated and complex and ... just a lot.
“I would do the same for you. And if it came down to it, I would fall on the sword, jump on the grenade, take the bullet, whatever it fucking took to keep you safe. My life is dedicated to my country and the people in it, but they all become second to my family—and you.”
This had become heavy so quick. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“No. This problem isn’t going away.”
“Well, I’m not sure if this is a problem I want to have.”
He winced like my words really hurt him.
“I’m not sure if Iwantto be guarded every hour of every day. I’m not sure if Iwantevery car I get into to be filled with guns. I’m not sure if Iwantto have a husband who could literally die any day. To have children with a man who could leave them without a father. It’s just ...”
“That’s the price you pay to be with me—and I promise I’m worth it.”
A wave of guilt washed over me. “I know you are.”
“You don’t need to decide right now. Let’s just see where it goes.”
“The longer I wait, the harder it’s going to be.”
“Sweetheart,” he said calmly. “Let’s just put a pin in it for now.”
The calmer he was, the more panicked I felt. He didn’t understand the stakes, didn’t understand the depth of implication. “I’m already falling in love with you, and if I let this go on much longer, I’m never going to be able to leave.” I said it all in a single breath, needing to get it out but also regretting the fact that I let it out at all. “So, I do need to decide ... while I still can.” My eyes shifted away the second I finished speaking, not wanting to see his reaction to what I’d just vomited across the table.
The waiter crossed the room at that moment and placed our dishes in front of us. Hopefully, that would be enough of an interference that we could both forget what I’d just said. I watched him leave out of the corner of my eye. I glanced down at my steak before I found the courage to look at Constantine.
He just sat there ... and fucking smiled. Smiled wider than I’d ever seen him. Like this wasn’t the most difficult conversation I’d ever had in my life. Like my pain was his pleasure. Anyone who watched us across the room would assume I’d said something to make him laugh, judging by that goddamn smirk.
Then as if nothing had happened, he grabbed his fork and knife and cut into his steak. “Good, I’m starving.”
Chapter 19
Constantine
“Would you stop doing that?”
“What?” I asked, sitting in the seat beside Rocco and looking out the window.
“You’ve been grinning like a goddamn dog for the last fifteen minutes.”
“I like dogs, so no offense there.”
“You look ridiculous.”
I turned to look at Rocco in the back seat next to me. “I’ve been told I have a nice smile.”
“By your mother, maybe.”
I smirked, then punched him in the arm. “That was a good one.”
