I needed to man up and just do it, but I didn’t want to.
I could bring some of my friends, but that felt like an ambush. Like it made me look weak. But could I realistically move all that stuff with just my motorbike? Probably not. That meant I’d have to rent a car and then store all that stuff here, in an apartment that was already small enough.
I should have searched for my own apartment sooner.
I grabbed my phone and stared at Constantine’s name for a while before I typed the message.I need to pick up my stuff at Enzo’s today. I know it’s really lame, but I don’t want to go alone ...I didn’t outright ask him, but the plea for help was easy to read between the lines. I sent the message and set my phone aside, unsure when he would text me back.
But the second I put my phone down, it vibrated.
I’ll be right there, sweetheart.
My heart melted into a puddle when I heard his voice in my head as I read his words. I felt like he was there with me, jumping out of the screen and holding me tight. I’d missed hearing him call me sweetheart. Missed the way he made me feel ... like I mattered.
I opened the door when he knocked.
It was the beginning of June, so the weather was getting warm outside. He arrived in a black T-shirt and black jeans, like he didn’t care about the heat. With a clean-shaven jaw and a warmth in his deep, rich eyes, he was exactly what I remembered ... but so much more.
How could I possibly forget how hot he was?
A wave of need passed over me, a desperation for his affection and warmth, a longing I couldn’t describe in words. How had I come to care for someone so deeply and so quickly? My friends had been there for me ever since I’d come home, had been my surrogate family, but it wasn’t the same.
The silence continued between us, both of us processing our emotions at the sight of each other. He eventually stepped into the apartment and came over to me, his eyes flicking back and forth between mine as he analyzed all my features. “Rough week?”
“Something like that.”
His eyes dropped in a hint of sadness before he hooked his arms around me and pulled me close. He held me in my friend’s apartment, chased away all my sadness and anxiety with his touch. He slid his hand into the back of my hair as he rested his chin on my head, holding me in a way no one else ever had.
Even when Enzo and I were at our best, I never feltthis. This kind of depth. “I missed you.” I probably shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t put stress on a relationship that I was actively trying to avoid for thetime being, but there was something about him that made me do stupid shit and say reckless things.
He pulled away from me, that devilish smile on his lips. “Come on. Let’s get your stuff.”
He drove us in a blacked-out Range Rover. He didn’t have his team of guys with him this time. It was just the two of us. He drove with one hand on the wheel, the other propped on the armrest, the music turned down so low I couldn’t really hear it. The vehicle smelled brand new, like he’d just bought it or hardly ever drove it.
My heart rate was irregular with him next to me, my peace interrupted by his momentous presence. When my longing had become too much, I’d looked at the few pictures of him I’d taken on our trip, just to see his face. Now, he was there with me, at my beck and call like I was an important person in his life—if not the most.
A guy had never treated me like that before. Let alone a guy who was six foot five with a hundred pounds of solid muscle and was so good looking it was painful to look directly at him sometimes.
“Find a place yet?” he asked with his eyes on the road, the SUV coming to a stop in traffic.
“I think so. Applied for it.”
“Where?”
“Trionfale. By the university.” It was much farther outside the city center than I wanted, but it was all I could afford on a single income. The neighborhood was decent, and I cared more about that than anything else.
He gave a nod but didn’t offer his input. When he arrived at Enzo’s apartment building, he pulled up right in front of it, up against the sidewalk where you weren’t supposed to park.
“I don’t think we can park here.”
He gave that arrogant smirk before he hopped out. “I can park anywhere.” He shut the door behind him, and the sound of the doorclosing concluded the discussion. He came to my side and opened my door for me before we stepped into the entryway of the building, where all the mailboxes were.
It was a nice building, with couches and rugs and flowerpots on a tiled floor. It also had an elevator. We took it to the third floor, then walked down the hallway and approached the front door of the apartment I’d called home for the last year and a half.
I stopped before it, suddenly losing all the courage that had gotten me this far.
He didn’t rush me inside, didn’t tell me to buck up. He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms as he waited. “What are you afraid of?”
“Of seeing how easily I was replaced ...” How my entire existence had been erased from Enzo’s heart seemingly overnight. “I wish he regretted it, not because I’d take him back, but because it would mean he still cared. To watch the person who saidI love youfirst, asked you to move in, said you were the love of his life ... just become indifferent to you. I’d rather he hate me for something because at least hatemeanssomething.” I took a heavy breath. “I know it’s stupid. I should be over this by now—”
