He continued to stare at his palms. “Anything else?”
I shook my head and waited for judgment. “No.”
His palms stilled, but he continued to stare at them.
I shouldn’t fight for him. I shouldn’t beg for a man to choose me. But I’d never wanted to fight for something so hard.
“I knew.”
The pain in my heart was replaced by confusion. “Knew what…?”
“I’ve been to Maxine’s. I’ve paid for a woman many times. I could tell by the way you screw.”
I felt embarrassed, even though I didn’t know why.
“The way you agreed to my terms so quickly. When you told me to fuck you in the ass…”
My cheeks flushed with a new wave of embarrassment.
“So, I have to ask.” He lifted his chin and looked me in the eye. “Was this all planned?”
“Was what …?” I asked with a broken voice.
“This.”
I swallowed.
“Did you fuck me to get what you want?”
“And what do you think I want?”
“You knew I could fix your problems. You knew I could kill the Oath or scare them off. You knew I could change your life for the better.”
“Luca, I’m good in bed, but I’m not a sorceress who bewitched you. We said goodbye, and I went my own way.Youcame to me.Youchecked in with me.Youshowed up at my apartment.You’rethe one that chased me.”
“But was that your goal?—”
“I’m embarrassed I was a whore. I’m embarrassed that I fucked your friend for money and for free. But nothing has hurt me more than this accusation.Because it’s so fucking obvious that I’m in love with you.” Tears came to my eyes from the anger or the emotion or the sheer catharsis of my confession. “You were a jackass when we met, and I had no desire to pursue a man with a heart made of steel. I fucked you because I needed a roof over my head, but I also fucked you because you’re so sexy it’s fucking stupid, and that was a pretty damn good trade to me. It wasn’t until we said goodbye that I felt…something. That I saw you were more than what you seem. That there’s a heart under all that muscle. I thought about you when I lived alone in my apartment, often, but I never expected to see you again.” The tears continued to fall. “It’s all real, Luca. Everything has been real.”
His stare had been locked on my face the entire time. No reaction of any kind.
I wiped my tears with my thumbs and looked away, still sitting on the stand and waiting for the judge’s ruling. I felt like a criminal for my past, and because of my past, I was being falsely accused of a crime I would never commit.
“I believe you.”
I sniffled, my eyes still cast away from him.
“Baby.”
My eyes continued to water, but I was instantly weak when he called me that, a nickname that came from nowhere and emerged on few and far between occasions. I sniffled again before I looked at him.
“I don’t care where you’ve been. I don’t care who you’ve been with. I just want to know this is real.”
“It is real.” It was so real and true and beautiful that I was scared every day I was going to lose it. “But…what about Carvel?”
“What about him?”
“You’re friends.”
