Bastien sat with his arms on the table and stared at me. “You look like shit.”
“I look tired. While you’ve been fucking all over the Mediterranean, I’ve been restoring order to our Republic. President Martin breathed down my throat every single day until order was maintained. And it’s still not fully maintained.”
Bastien gave a slight nod. “Fair enough. How are things?”
“Not your problem, Bastien.”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it.”
I gave a slight shake of my head. “How’s Fleur?”
“She’s good. Had a great time on our trip. Got to see a side to her I’ve never seen before.”
“Probably because she saw a new side to you that she hasn’t seen before either.”
“True.” He nodded. “Didn’t shoot anybody. Didn’t threaten to shoot anybody.”
“Must be nice.” I’d been executing the traitors and chasing the cowards.
“If you don’t want the job, Nico is next in line since Mael moved on.”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is the problem?” he asked. “Because there are waves of resentment crossing the table right now.”
Bryan appeared then, bringing our hot plates of food at the most contentious moment. He laid everything out without saying a word or making eye contact then walked off.
Bastien was hungry but didn’t touch his food.
“It’s not resentment.”
“Then what is it?”
I wasn’t sure what the problem was. I didn’t think about these sorts of things too often. But when I was put on the spot, I was forced to confront the emotions I suppressed. “It all happened so fast. Fleur appeared out of nowhere, and within just a couple of months, our lives were forever changed. I didn’t expect you to leave so quickly and so suddenly. It’s just not the same without you.”
It was a testament to our friendship when he didn’t make a joke or sidestep my words. He held my gaze and confronted it. “So, you miss me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you kinda did.” A slow smirk moved over his lips.
I rolled my eyes. “Saying it’s not the same is not the same thing as saying I miss you?—”
“I miss you too, man.” His fair skin was a little darker from lying by the pool on his vacation, but his blue eyes were still hard and brilliant at the same time. “I’m really happy with my life with Fleur. Wouldn’t change it for anything. But now that the honeymoon is over and we’re back to normal life, there’s definitely a void there that she can’t fill. A purpose that’s missing, a lack of speed and adrenaline. If her safety wasn’t so heavily braided into the job, I’d be back. No question.”
That shouldn’t make me feel better, but for some reason, it did.
“My life was easier without Fleur. But not better. One day, you’ll understand what I mean.”
I scoffed before I grabbed my fork and started to eat.
“I said the same thing, remember?” He started to eat too, pouring the syrup all over his sweet stack of pancakes. “Look at me now.”
“We aren’t the same, Bastien.”
“But we aren’t different either, Luca.”
I paused and looked at him before I bit the piece of hash brown off the fork.
