He took another drag from the cigarette before he took it from between his lips. He dropped it on the ground and stepped on it, like the nicotine wasn’t enough to soothe the tightness in every muscle in his body.
“Let’s get a drink.”
“I’d rather not.”
“You’d rather stand out here next to the road in a sea of people?”
A flash of annoyance entered his gaze, but he didn’t give voice to it.
I nodded towardLe Petit Cream. “Shall we?”
He gave me a glare but didn’t fight it.
I walked up to the café and asked for an outdoor table so we could both smoke. It was already busy, so we were squeezedbetween two round tables, girls on either side of us smoking and drinking their cocktails and talking about their days at work.
Jacques hung his bag on the edge of the chair and immediately lit up another smoke.
I pulled out a cigar and lit up too.
He said nothing, just smoking while we waited for the waiter.
When he came by, we both ordered stiff drinks and then sat in uncomfortable silence.
I stared at my cousin, who looked similar to me, dark hair and dark eyes, tall and a bit burly. “How’s your family?”
“Let’s not talk about them.”
“Whether we talk about them or not, it’s not going to make them any safer.”
He took a drag of his cigarette and looked elsewhere.
“Come on, Jacques,” I said. “No one is going to fuck with your father when all of Paris know he’s my uncle.”
His eyes eventually came back to me. “It’s rich of you to tell me not to worry, considering how both of your parents died.”
It bothered me. It would always bother me. “My dad was an idiot. It’s no surprise what happened.”
“Your mom was innocent.”
“But my father didn’t care about her. He didn’t care about me either.”
“Well, that’s where we’re different. Because I love my wife and daughter more than anything.” He tapped his cigarette againstthe ashtray to drop the ash that had accumulated on the tip. “I’d die if anything happened to them.”
“That’s how it should be.”
He took another drag of the cigarette and let the smoke billow out like a cloud.
The waiter brought our drinks.
He crossed his legs. “What do you want from me, Luca?”
“Your father misses you.” It was as simple as that. “It eats him alive every day.”
He dismissed my words by looking away. “I want no part of that life.”
“Having a relationship with him doesn’t mean you need to be part of that life.”
“The association is enough. If he wants to be in my life, then he can walk away from it all. He can have dinner with us every Sunday night. Those are my terms, and I won’t alter them to accommodate him. It’d be different if it were just me, but I have a little girl, and she’s everything to me.” He took another drag of the cigarette, let out the smoke, and then took a drink.
