We focused on our food again because we’d abandoned it so far.
“I’m mostly happy for you. Just alittlebit jealous.” He squeezed his forefinger and thumb together. “Just a teeny, tiny bit.”
“What about you? Is Charles still around?”
“Nah, we’re done.”
“You said that last time…and the time before that.”
“But we’rereallydone this time,” he said as he held up his hand. “I don’t need any more of that toxic bullshit in my life. I just want a good man who doesn’t stick his dick in other people. Is that so fucking hard?”
I shook my head. “It shouldn’t be.”
“You want to go out with me to Duplex tonight?” he asked. “Help me find someone who can somewhat hold a candle to your man?”
“Sure.” I was so used to keeping a low profile that I’d forgotten I could go out again. That I could do anything I wanted. That I didn’t have to tuck my head back in my shell. “I’ll be your wing bitch.”
“Wing bitch…” He chuckled before he took another bite of his sandwich. He was muscular like Luca, but not nearly as ripped. Still strong and handsome, someone who should not have a hard time finding someone. “So, how serious is this relationship? Like, it’s a monogamous long-term fling, or are their wedding bells somewhere in the future? Love bombing?”
“Um…” I didn’t know how to answer that question. “I really don’t know. It’s so early, and I’m not in a rush to find out where it’s going. Do I expect us to end up together? No. But I never expect any kind of future with anyone.” Because my family was supposed to be my future, and they were brutally murdered.I’d gotten used to being on my own, so I didn’tneedto have someone. “I’m fine seeing where it goes. I gotta imagine he’ll get tired of me at some point, and it’ll fizzle out.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I showed you his picture, didn’t I?” I said with a laugh. “That man could have anyone he wants.”
“You forget how beautiful you are, Aliénor.”
“Aww, you’re sweet.”
“If I were into girls, I’d be doingeverythingto get into you.”
I was about to take a bite of my croissant when I burst into a laugh. “Oh wow.”
“So, don’t sell yourself short.”
“I’m not. I just have realistic expectations.”
“Well, how do you feel about him?” he asked. “For you to be this detached.”
“I’m not detached.”
“You assume it’s going to end, when this man got you a job.”
“I don’t assume. But I don’t assume it’s going to be more than what it is right now. And that’s fine with me. The present is a beautiful thing. I live in it every day.” Because all I had was the past and the crippling fear of being murdered every moment of my life. This peaceful existence was something I would cherish every day—and the man who gave it to me. Even if Luca dropped me for someone else, I would always have love for him in my heart.
“But do you want more than what it is right now?”
I shrugged.
“Aliénor, you can be honest with me. It’s not like I’m going to run off and tell him. If I ever came face-to-face with that guy, I wouldn’t be able to speak, not in the presence of a god.”
I chuckled. “Honestly?”
“Always honestly.”
“I really like him…obviously.”
“I’d judge you if you didn’t.”
