“Because what I heard —”
“What you heard was business, Chloe. Ugly, complicated business that has nothing to do with what’s happening between us.”
“How can it have nothing to do with us when it’s about you getting married?”
“Because I’m not marrying anyone!” The words come out harshly. “I’m not accepting that arrangement. It’s all a game, Chloe, these negotiations and treaties. But I’m telling you, it’s an entirely different world than the one you’ve grown up in at the orphanage.”
His eyes lock on mine, and there’s so much in them. So much he is holding back still.
“Every time I close my eyes, I think about you.” His voice is rough and raw. “About having you pinned beneath me in the gym that day. Having you tied up and blindfolded in the kitchen,falling apart in my hands. Because you make me feel more alive than I have felt in years.”
My breath catches, and silence falls between us, heavy and charged for a long moment.
“But you’re right about one thing,” he finally continues, his voice going cold again. “You don’t fit into the equation. So if you don’t want to keep doing this, then tell me.”
I gulp because he’s right. I don’t fit in here. Fitting the equation would mean falling right back into the world I’d left behind.
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” My voice is barely more than a whisper, and the words physically hurt to say.
He searches my face for a long time before finally stepping back, and the loss of his proximity is as devastating as our words.
“Miss Tao.” The formal address is deliberate, cruel. “Thank you for informing me about Emmanuel’s progress. You can take the rest of the day off.”
It’s a dismissal. Clear and final.
I turn on my heel and walk toward the door, my vision blurring with tears that I refuse to let fall until I’m fully out of sight.
“And Chloe?” His voice stops me at the threshold.
I don’t turn around.
“In the future, don’t eavesdrop on conversations. It’s unbecoming.”
I nod, but I don’t turn around. Walking out before he can say anything further. Before I can say anything else. Before I break down completely and tell him everything.
I’m halfway down the hallway when the tears start, angry and humiliating. I knew better, I’ve always known better.
Women like me? We’re just convenient. Disposable.
I barely make it outside before I start sobbing. A slew of emotions is taking over. This is why I don’t let people in. This is why I resist trusting anyone besides Jay. This is why I keep my walls up and my secrets close.
The moment I let someone in, the moment I let myself feel again, they let me down. They abandon me. Throw me aside like I never mattered to begin with. Every. Single. Time.
“Rough afternoon?”
I jerk up at the sound of Raffaello, turning to find him leaning against the wall of the house. Arms crossed, one leg bent with his boot lodged against the stucco, watching me in that way he does.
“Go away,” I manage, wiping the tears from my face with one hand and waving the other at him to shoo him away. “I’m not in the mood for your smug bullshit.”
“Can’t. Boss’s orders. I’m still your shadow when you’re not inside that house, remember?” He pushes off the wall and moves to catch up, settling in to walk beside me as I wander further into the gardens. “Though I will admit this is a new development. I didn’t think you were a crier. Trouble in paradise?”
“I’m not crying,” I protest, wiping my face again.
“Sure, you’re not, and I’m Santa Claus.” He tries to make it a joke, obviously uneasy. He’s quiet for a moment, thoughtful. “For what it’s worth, you didn’t hear the whole conversation.”
“It doesn’t matter, I heard enough.”
“Did you?” He tilts his head, studying me with a new expression I’ve never seen from him. Concerned and empathetic. “If you’d been patient and kept listening instead of jumping to conclusions, you might have realized that you could be the chess piece to win that particular game for Basili. Or, you could be if you decided to be brave and fess up.”
