Maddy is getting to him. But she’s getting to all of us.
I pause at the window and peer out. Thousands of people are making mistakes this very second. Most of them will wake up tomorrow, go about their normal life, and forget the panic that comes with realizing you’re the flaw in your own system.
I envy them. Because once I see a flaw in myself, I can’t unsee it.
And I hate the fact that I finally see the root of the control problem I have.
I’ve now seen both of my partners deep inside of Maddy, and while I feel like I have every right to feel jealous…
I really just feelscared.
And that’s the real problem.
I crack my knuckles and then step away from the window, pulling out my phone again. I scroll through my texts quickly, stopping when I see one from my dad.
Dad:How’s work going? You have time to meet for lunch any time soon? Your mom is bugging the shit out of me.
I curl my lip in disgust at the way he speaks about my mother.Thatis something I never want in a relationship. My father is an example of exactly hownotto treat a woman…
And how I’ve been treating Maddy.
“Fuck,” I mumble under my breath, my mind replaying all the times I’ve been an asshole to her. I run a hand over my face, feeling like an absolute piece of shit.
I owe her an apology for that.
I let out a deep breath. I have no idea what my parents would think of some sort of quadruple relationship situation. I cringe at the disappointment I felt growing up, perpetually etched in my father’s face.
Before I can imagine that scenario any further, my door opens and in walks Caleb and Beck. Both look annoyed at the sight of me, and while normally, I might find that amusing, I donotfeel that in this situation.
“So you want to talk,” Beck states the obvious, plopping down on the couch across from where I’m standing. “But for the record, if this turns into another fistfight, I’m fucking leaving.”
“Same,” Caleb mutters, taking a seat opposite Beck and folding his arms across his chest.
I lean against the window, a slight wave of nerves rolling through my body. “I’m open to hearing you both out. My reaction was out of anger and insecurity.”
Beck’s brows shoot upward. “Wait… DidAdrian Frankjust admit that he’sinsecure?I think we should record this moment, because it’s not likely to ever happen again.”
Caleb chuckles. “Agreed.”
I ignore the jab. “The point is that I think I’ve been the most problematic in everything that’s happened so far, and I need to hear what you two want.”
“Well, I mentioned being open to sharing,” Beck repeats what I already know. “And I think, based on last night, you didn’t seem to be opposed to that. But you also stormed off, so there must be some regret there.”
“I just don’t want to lose her,” I blurt out the painful truth. Ihatebeing vulnerable, but maybe vulnerability is the only way we somehow all get what we want in this situation.
Caleb’s jaw flexes. “I visited Maddy today.”
Beck smirks at him. “And how did that go?”
He glares at me. “Well, it would’ve gone better if Adrian hadn’t called me in the middle of it.And you made it seem like this was some kind of an emergency.”
I inhale, steadying myself. “I’ve spent the last twelve hours trying to solve a problem. And the problem is that I want topossess her, control her, and make her belong to me.” I meet their eyes, one at a time. “And Ican’t. That would destroy our friendship—and I don’t want that. I’m just concerned about the dynamic.”
Beck’s face softens slightly. “I get that. I have the same worry. It feels risky, and the last thing I want is to fuck up anything between the three of us. You guys have been my family for years.”
“Yeah,” I say. “And I refuse to repeat my parents’ mistakes. My dad is the biggest asshole I know, and I don’t want to be like him.”
“So what’s your solution?” Caleb asks.
