So much for keeping it together.I rake my fingers through my hair and pull at it, trying to decide what the fuck I should do next.
And that’s when I realize someone is standing in the doorway.
It’s Maddy.
She’s holding a paper bag from the café downstairs, and her lips are parted like she was about to say something but thought better of it. She looks between the desk, the floor, and my hand, which is still balled in a fist.
“Oh, uh, sorry,” she says, trying for a normal voice and failing. “I have your lunch? Adrian told me to order for each of you and yours has been sitting in the breakroom for a couple of hours now…”
I totally forgot that he said she was ordering food.
I scrub a hand over my face, and try to get my shit together, mortified that she saw what just went down. “Sorry you had to see that.”
Her expression is painfully soft. “Are you okay?”
“I’m…fine.” My voice sounds about as fine as a man in the middle of a breakdown can muster.
She hesitates, like she might back out of the office and pretend none of this happened, but instead, she steps inside, holding the bag in front of her like a peace offering.
She sets it on the corner of my desk, then, after a beat, crouches and starts gathering up the fallen blueprints. “I’m assuming your computer crashed,” she comments, collecting the pages into a tidy pile. “I hate it when that happens.”
I open my mouth to tell her to leave it, but she’s already sorting papers by size and paperclipping them together. She moves with that same quiet efficiency that she’s shown since day one, and by the time she stands, the mess is ninety percent contained.
I can’t take my eyes off her hands.
“You’re not going to fire the new IT intern, are you?” she asks, setting the stack on a nearby chair.
I sigh, feeling a little more at ease with every passing second she spends in my office. “No, but maybe I should make him be the one who has to fix the bugs.”
Maddy smiles. “Honestly, shouldn’t that be his responsibility, anyway? I think you have enough on your plate right now.” She glances at my computer and then at my hand. “Did you hurt yourself?”
Ugh. She saw everything.
I flex my fingers. “Not really.” It’s a total lie. My knuckles are already red, and they’re probably going to bruise, but I’d cut my whole hand off if it meant not looking like an idiot man-child in front of her right now.
She nods, as if she believes me, and opens the paper bag. “I got you the chicken pesto sandwich. Adrian didn’t specify your order. Have you had anything to eat today?” She eyes my cup of half-drank coffee. There’s no accusation in her voice, but it still lands with the force of a concerned parent scolding a child.
I shake my head, looking back at the computer screen. “I haven’t had time.”
“Then you should eat.” She gives me a look that makes it clear she’s not moving until I take the sandwich.
I like this side of Maddy, even if I have no idea what to do with it.
I pick up the sandwich and take a bite. For a minute, the only sounds are the rustling of wax paper and my own chewing. Maddy leans against the window, arms crossed, watching the skyline like she’s waiting for me to gather myself together before she says anything else.
It’s strangely comforting.
After a few bites, my heart rate slows. My brain starts to unspool.Maybe I was just hangry.
I clear my throat, voice steady this time. “Thanks for the food. And for cleaning up.”
Maddy shrugs. “It’s what I’m here for.” She pauses after that, biting her lip in a way that makes me wish I could do it for her. “You want help with the cost model?”
I start to say no, but stop myself. I’m supposed to be the steady one, but at this moment, maybe steady means letting someone else take the reins for once. It goes against every habit ingrained in me, but…
I nod. “Sure. It would make the takeoff a lot easier to have a second person.”
She smiles. “Okay, then just point and let me know what I can do.”
