When he came with me, he collapsed, biting my shoulder like a wild animal. Then he kissed over my cheek, my jaw, before finding my lips. I tasted myself on him as I opened my mouth, our tongues tangling in pure bliss.
I stand and turn on the big light, not the soft lamplight I usually keep on, then step into the bathroom. Cold water jerks me out of the fantasy, the little fairytale I shouldn’t indulge… but sometimes do in the weakness of the night.
Michael and I met at a bar. There was banter about art, and sizzling, suggestive comments about the dress I was wearing. I was self-conscious about it, just a little, but every comment he made convinced me I was the most beautiful woman alive.
“Idiot,” I hiss under my breath.
I walk into Theo’s room, the little bundle of perfection that makes it all worth it. He’s got his father’s amber-gold eyes. Sometimes, when he looks at me, I’m sure he’s asking,Where isDaddy?I’m imagining it, right? He’s not even two months old yet. My body is still raw from pregnancy, my lower back aching, nipples tight.
He's two months too young to know. But one day I’ll have to tell him.
I pick him up, rocking him softly.
“I’m so sorry, Ava,” my babysitter says through the phone. “I’ve never done this before, but my dad’s in the hospital and?—”
“It’s fine,” I tell her, even though it’s not fine. “Don’t sweat it.”
“Are you sure?”
No.
“Yes, be with your dad.”
“Will your parents be able to watch him?”
No.
“Yes,” I say. “Seriously, don’t even give it a second thought.”
I hang up, looking at myself in the mirror. I’m already dressed for the auction, a big, important event… for the city, for my job. I work for a large gallery owner who was nice enough to give me a shot, and the last thing I want to do is let him down.
I still remember being three months pregnant and wondering how I would make it work, arguing with my boss at the restaurant about how I wanted to be put on steady hours. Ineeded the money, needed the security. He laughed and mocked me in the middle of the lunch hour for everyone to see.
“Why don’t you go and paint some stupid little pictures instead?”
That was when Adrian appeared—my boss now. Tall and lean, mid-fifties, pale eyes, and a kind smile, he definitely wasn’t wearing then. He glared at my boss. At first I thought, great, here comes the hero, ready to hit on me. I didn’t want a relationship then, and I still don’t. But after Adrian scared my jackass boss away, I realized he wasn’t like that at all.
“Was that comment about art just spite, or do you really want to work in the art world?”
I shifted on the spot, hands smoothing over my bump.“I just need steady work. I’m pregnant, so…”
“I own a gallery,”he said.“I always need passionate people around me. People willing to put in the work. Do you fit that description?”
“I’m not afraid of hard work,”I said proudly.
He nodded at my comment.“Then you’re hired on a two-week trial basis. Prove yourself, and you’ll get full-time hours. And maternity leave if you need it.”
I was stunned. But I wasn’t about to question my luck. Later, once I felt more confident in my role, I asked him why he’d done it. He told me he’d been a hard man once, but his wife had taught him softness. She’d taught him kindness, too. Now he liked to practice it whenever he could.
I call him now.
“Ava,” he says. “Are you almost here?”
“I’m sorry, Adrian. My babysitter canceled.”
“Ah.” A sigh. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, you could be on maternity?—”
“No, I want to be there. I was wondering… could I bring Theo? Cassie absolutely loves him, and you said she was going to be fielding calls tonight from a back office, right? Maybe she could watch him?”
