And he risked hislifeto keep me safe. I can’t forget that.
As if I could.
I don’t think I’ll everforget the sound of the bullet hitting the car. Or of Nico barking out orders at Kurt while he protected me with his body. I won’t forget how it felt lying on the cold ground,my heart pounding out of my chest, wondering if thatwas the time my luck had finally run out.
I’ll never forget the fear in his eyes. The panic. The way he hugged me to him, his heart racing in the same frantic rhythm as mine.
Nico wouldn’t have acted like that if he didn’t care. I know it. Just like I know I wouldn’t have been so frightened about Nico getting hurt if I didn’t care about him.
That’s what my nightmares were about last night—not me being shot, but him. Every time I’d slip back into sleep, I’d be revisited by the same horrific images: Nico shot while he rushed me inside, crimson blossoming across his back, his skin paling as the life drained out of him. And me by his side, sobbing, begging him not to leave, telling him I forgive him, that I can’t lose him again.
My throat goes thick. My eyes sting.
What if he’d died yesterday?
What if I never got to tell him how I really feel?
When Nico first showed back up in my life, I didn’t want him here. But now…
A tear leaks down the side of my cheek and dampens the pillow.
I don’t want to say goodbye to him again.
Nico’s eyes pop open just as another tear escapes. In a blink, he’s wide awake. He jumps to his feet and rushes to the side of the bed. “Soph.” His voice is rough with worry. “What’s wrong? Was it another nightmare? Is it your head? Your arm?”
Great. Ofcoursehe wakes up while I’m crying. I haven’t cried for years, and in the last week, I’ve turned into a veritable waterworks of tears.
“I’m fine,” I insist. Which would be more convincing, I’m sure, if I wasn’t sniffling and blinking as I say it. “No nightmare. Nothing hurts.”
Nico frowns. “But you’re—” He stops. Exhales. “Okay. You’re not in pain. But something’swrong.”
Well, yes. I’m freaking out about the possibility of Nico getting killed while protecting me. But maybe I don’twant to start with that.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Pushing myself to a seated position, I add, “I think it’s just everything from yesterday catching up to me. That’s all.”
Which is true.
“Okay,” he says slowly.
“Why did you sleep in here?” I ask, eyeing the discarded blanket on the floor.
“In case you had another nightmare.” It’s said like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I didn’t want to have to run back in here from my bedroom. It takes too long.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your sleep.”
“Soph.” His brows draw together. “I wasn’t worried about my sleep. I was worried about you.”
It’s funny, the more often he uses my old nickname, the more I like hearing it.
Glancing at the screen of my phone, I realize it’s already half-past nine. “Oh, you didn’t have to stay in here until I woke up. I’m sure you have work to do. And I—” Belatedly, I realize my hair must look like a literal bird’s nest considering how restless my sleep was. While patting my hair down, I add, “I should get working, too. I didn’t mean to stay in bed this late.”
Nico brushes a rogue strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re not working this morning.”
“Yes we are.” I wriggle out from beneath the covers and start to get out of bed. “I have more cases to look through. Especially after… Well. I have to catch up.”
His hand settles on my shoulder. “I’ll follow up on some things, Soph. But you need a break.”
I jerk away from him. “No, I don’t. I need to figure out who’s behind this. Before someone else takes a shot at me. Or you. Or one of your friends. Your employees. You could have been hit yesterday, Nico. Kurt could have been shot. Because ofme. I can’t just sit around doing nothing!”
