The smell of you lingers on your sports jacket as I sit on my bed, too tired to take it off. My skin tingles from your touch, and my lips still feel joined to yours. No matter where I go or who I become, it will always be you and me from this point on. I twirl the single rose you gave me in my fingers. The silky petals tickle my nose, and I inhale their sweet fragrance. I smile, knowing a rose will never again be just another rose.
Forever Yours,
L
Dahlia gasped in astonishment. That was why she named her mother Rose. With a heaviness that felt endless, she kept going. She flipped through the pages and read words from beyond the grave.
I felt her kick today.
I miss you more than words.
I wish you were here.
My heart aches for you.
I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you.
I cried myself to sleep last night, imagining you holding my belly beside me.
I’m scared, Gene.
The neighbor saw me today. I hope she doesn’t tell anyone.
My father says I bring shame to his family.
She’ll be here any day, Gene.
How can I give her to my sister? How can I let someone else raise our daughter?
We had a daughter today. I named her Rose. She’s perfect.
Today, someone stopped Lizzie at the grocery store and told her how pretty Rose was. My heart broke. It’s so hard not being her mother. It’s a pain that breaks me into pieces.
It’s her birthday. Rose is one. I planted a rose bush in her honor. She ate cake and got it all over her face.
She’s a ham. She has your wit, Gene.
I’m painting again, just flowers from her garden.
My heart aches for you. It’s as raw as the day I left.
Dahlia’s eyes and throat were as dry as the desert, but she continued. This time, skipping ahead.
June 18, 1983
G,
Our girl graduated high school today. Rose looked regal in her green cap and gown. She’s independent, fierce, charming, and kind. You’dbe so proud. She got a full scholarship to Boston College and will head there this fall.
All My Love,
L
Dahlia rubbed her temples. On the one hand, she felt like someone had sliced her open and held her heart in their hand. On the other hand, she felt chosen for this and that it was a privilege to be a voyeur in this timeless love affair.
With that, she peeked at the last page—January 20, 1997—and closed it up. Dahlia was trying to hold it together. She considered calling Kara again but didn’t. If she wanted to talk, she would call her back. She thought about Daisy but didn’t want to burden her. And Noah, well, that was obviously not happening. As hard as it was to accept, she was on her own.
The rest would have to wait. She couldn’t bear any more tonight. Her soul felt like it needed CPR. She still had to call Gene back but maybe tomorrow. It wasn’t even four yet, but after what she’d been through, she could sleep for days.
