Interest has been piqued. “Oh?”
“You promised you wouldn’t show Liam that photo!” Gabriel accuses.
“Now I must gaze upon this photograph,” I say as I turn around and eye the room before I see the curtain rod. “We will cram that between the table and the chair; it’ll cause the rope to twist around it and no matter how much he gains, he’ll never reach us. We can sit here for the rest of the time.”
“You’re a bunch of cheaters,” Gabriel says. “Liam, I wanted to bite you.”
“I know, babe. I know.”
So off I go to pull the curtain rod down before Michaels sees and rushes over.
“What are you doing?”
“I was told I could use anything in this room. I’m being creative, Michaels. Thinking outside the box. Look at me being the master participator, and still, you want to stomp on my enthusiasm to be the best group member I could ever be? Shame on you.”
“Shame on… you’re dismantling the room!”
“I am saving the lives of my less than desirable coworkers so that I can use them for… reasons in the future,” I declare. “And you are trying to end them. Shame. What. A. Shame.”
Alana, who had been checking on everyone like she’s a teacher making sure we’re not cheating on some pop quiz that no one cares about, arrives in front of us. “Oh wow! That is some smart thinking. You’re the only group going this route. I think you might win.”
“We might have won until Michaels came along and hurt my feelings. I would like to take a mental health day to recover from it, and I must take Gabriel with me.”
Michaels sighs, and I can see the way he just gives up. “You can use the curtain rod.”
“How kind of you,” I say before I ram it between the items so Gabriel has no hope of going anywhere. It’s pitiful and he lookslonely. So when it is our turn again, I shuffle over to him and lie down on the floor at his feet. “We have taken our turn.”
“If he’s ‘dead’ that means he can’t talk, right?” Donna asks.
“For sure,” Matthew says as he takes his foot and shoves me closer to Gabriel. “Dead men don’t speak.” And then suddenly half of the group is just pushing me closer to Gabriel.
“I will miss none of you. You all came into my life and caused me nothing but mental and physical pain every time I laid my eyes upon you. Please… don’t bother coming to my funeral,” I proclaim.
“Liam, stop being mean to your friends,” Gabriel says.
There’s that disgusting “F” word again. “They like it,” I assure him.
“I’m not certain they do. They’re literally working together for the first time, and it’s all to make sure you’re close enough that I can eat you.”
“They’ve done me proud,” I say.
Michaels just sighs loudly while Alana stands there unsure of what to say or do. And when it’s Gabriel’s turn, he kneels down, takes my arm and bites it.
“You are adorable,” I say. “Michaels, since I’m now a zombie too, may I eat my coworkers? I’ll probably skip Chris. I don’t want to get his moist tears on me.”
Gabriel clamps a hand over my mouth and gives me a look. Michaels and Alana simply leave instead of answering, so I lick Gabriel’s hand.
“Ew, no. You have no idea where this hand has been.”
“I’m very glad we get to die together,” I decide. “Cradle me as you consume my flesh.”
He raises an eyebrow. “So romantic.”
“That’s me. Liam the romantic.”
The way Jesse and Matthew cackle tells me that they don’t agree. That’s just because they’ve never loved anyone enough to buy them a house and feed them their flesh.
TWO
