“Because her brother thought she’d run. He said that he knew she was pushed to her limits, so he thought she’d run off without him and that if he told anyone, he would get taken from her if she ever decided to return. He was young. Like nine. He was as fucked up as the rest of us. Forced to grow up young because the world can be cruel.”
“So in the end, you changed sides. Why?” I ask.
“Because I knew what he was doing was wrong when he killed a young woman. I knew she wasn’t the monster he claimed. She was a cashier at a shitty little convenience store I frequented. The only reason he ever saw her was because of me… she died because of me.”
“Why didn’t he imprison her like he did Lacey?”
“Because Zach hit her too hard and she wouldn’t wake up… Whitaker just… finished her off. I wasn’t supposed to see.”
“Why did he keep them? Was it sexual?”
“No. I honestly think he never once even thought about sex. I would sometimes hear him yelling at Lacey, telling her that this is what she deserved. But he always said the right things to me. He made me feel so fucking loved… Liam, I could have saved people, but instead, I latched on to him.”
“So how did you get Lacey out?”
“I thought maybe I could just… let her go. A part of me wanted to stay with him, but she was a voice of reason. She was the only reason I still kept my sanity because every time he pulled me back into his world, she’d draw me back out and prove that it wasn’t as magical as I thought. And whenever Whitaker was away, I could be swayed by her words, made to see sense. I felt such terror the day I set her free. I thought Whitaker was gone, but I think he was just testing me. And when I opened her door, his look of betrayal… the rage he showed. The man who’d been so kind to me turned into a monster unlike anything I’d ever imagined.
“It hurt so badly seeing my savior become just another monster. I was devastated… and when Whitaker turned around to kill me, I almost let it happen because… I didn’t know how much more I could take. But before he could, Lacey smashed him in the head with a chair leg and dragged me away.”
Jesse rubs his forehead. I can tell he’s struggling with this even now, so many years later. “Fuck… it sounds so unbelievablystupid, but I’m afraid I’d have stayed if she hadn’t pulled me away. He probably would have killed me, and I knew that, but I still think I would have stayed.”
“It doesn’t sound like the hit killed him. So what happened to him?”
“Lacey dragged me to the police where she recounted everything that happened. They didn’t believe her. I guess she’d been in trouble here and there for stealing… they didn’t care that she’d been stealing diapers or formula for her brother when she couldn’t afford it because her parents didn’t take care of either of them, even when they were alive. They went to the house anyway but there was no one there. It was a vacation home for some rich family who lived there in the winter. There were no signs of anyone else having been inside. I guess the ‘rooms’ down there were guest rooms. The police didn’t believe us, so I left, and I felt so much lonelier afterward. Aren’t I a fucking monster, Liam? I’m confident that if Whitaker had found me on the street the week after I ran away, I would have gone back to him.”
“What did you do instead?”
“Lacey found me, saying she was terrified they’d find her again, so she was moving here with her brother. She asked if I’d go with them. She said she couldn’t afford the rent alone, so she wanted to know if I’d pay a third of it and stay with them. I realize now that she was just giving me a reason to stay with her.”
“What happened to Whitaker?”
“For a long while, nothing. Even with my current occupation, I couldn’t dig up anything on him. There were no reported disappearances of any of his victims that I could find, but I knew nothing about them. It really was like we’d just made the whole thing up. Nothing came of it one way or another until about six years ago, when I figured out his full name. Whitaker Marret… killed in a car accident.”
“It was him?”
“The pictures were of him… I know it was him.”
“He used his real name with you?”
“I never knew his surname. I think he believed me so inconsequential that it didn’t matter that I knew his first name.”
I feel like something’s not right about that statement; there’s absolutely no way that Jesse was inconsequential to this killer. That’s not how killers work. Whitaker didn’t make it that many years without anyone turning him in by picking inconsequential people to let in on his secret. He thought Jesse was the perfect fit for some reason… Jesse just isn’t telling me why. That’s fine, I’ll figure it out myself, so I continue. “So when Lacey saw Zach working at the zoo, she contacted you.”
“Yes.”
“She knows you work with the police?”
“She does. We’ve stayed close all these years. The issue is that she doesn’t trust the police. She never has. But she still asked if there was any way we could put Zach in prison for life. Lacey was terrified that if he only went for a short period, he’d find her and hurt her or her brother. I looked into him. I tore through his life, but on the outside, he was the ideal citizen. We had nothing on him. We had absolutely no proof that he’d done anything. She wasn’t happy with that. She wasn’t happy waiting to see if I could dig up a scrap of something.
“I didn’t know he was watching Nadine, and Lacey didn’t either until the day she killed him. I don’t think Zach knew Lacey was around, or maybe he didn’t even recognize her. But she saw the way he was looking at Nadine. I don’t think she planned to kill him that night; she’d promised me that we would figure this out together. But when he snuck back into the zoo after hours, she panicked and killed him. I still don’t know if he came back in because he’d finally seen Lacey or what made him return. She called me after she’d already killed him and begged me tohelp her dispose of the body. Neither of us knew that he’d taken Nadine at that point. I didn’t know until I was informed that you found her in his trunk or I promise I’d have done something sooner. I promise you, Liam. I would never sit on something like that to save my own ass.”
“Here’s the most important question. Do you really think Whitaker is dead?” I ask.
“I questioned it as well. I searched all over to find proof that he wasn’t really the one who’d died, but I never came up with anything that showed otherwise. His mother told me to ‘dig up the fucking coffin if I cared that much,’ and I’m going to be honest… I thought about it. But how would that look? Medical examiner of Timber PD caught desecrating a grave. My guess is that after Whitaker died, Zach never stopped hunting women.”
I roll my fork on the table, lost in thought. This whole thing… all of it… sounds thrilling.
Jesse catches my eyes. “Is there any way I can get Lacey out of this? Out of going to prison? Some kind of… self-defense thing. Somehow tie it back to the police report she made.”
