‘I do. Bless her.’ Remy sighed. ‘I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ash, I’m pleased to see you, you know I am, but my God, she goes like a loon before you get here. I heard her asking Dad if he thought they should get the front path jet-washed. I had to explain that evenyou probably had moss between your paving stones in that fancy house of yours in London.’
‘I don’t, actually. I have a man that takes care of things like that. And I am now definitely going to ask if they’ve seen the state of their front path when we get back.’
‘Please don’t. She’ll make Midge get out there with a scrubbing brush and bowl.’
‘Good old Midge.’ Ashleigh liked her brother-in-law enormously, knew how much he did for her parents and how happy he made her sister. He had brought back her spark after those awful, awful years when Remy seemed to have faded, closed down. The terrible attack and then her short marriage to Jamie Aller.Jamie Aller!Ashleigh would never forget the moment she’d met him, barely able to disguise her look of horror, knowing he wasn’t smart enough, committed enough, not inany wayenough for someone like Remy.
Her sister’s words had resonated, yet Ashleigh knew she’d never say how alienating and upsetting it was to be so considered a guest, a rarity, highlighting how much their lives had drifted apart and how much of a novelty her return.
Whose fault is that?The question rattled in her thoughts.
‘Shame Archie had a work thing, although with hindsight, having to abandon him at Mum’s or let him come with us in search of food ...’
‘He’d be fine! He does muck in, Remy. He’s great with Evie.’
‘I didn’t say he wasn’t!’ Her sister’s voice had gone up a little.
‘We both know it’s what youdon’tsay that is always the most telling.’
‘That might be true,’ Remy conceded. ‘I guess it’s just a bit odd for me, odd for us that we don’t really know Archie that well.’
‘Of course youknowhim!’ There it was again, that alienation thing.
‘Yeah, but do we? We see him at Christmas and maybe on the odd visit once a year, but we never really spend any time with him. I couldn’t pick up the phone to him, wouldn’t call him for a chat or to check in. It’s always via you.’
‘I wouldn’t call Midge,’ she fired in her husband’s defence.
‘No, but youcould, and you’d chat, and it would be fine.’
‘So you’re saying you wouldn’t want to chat to Archie?’ Ashleigh felt the flare of self-consciousness. The trouble was, it was true: Archie was a little aloof with her family and it bothered her more than she could say. Just another aspect of her marriage that didn’t compare well to Remy’s. Her isolation last night during dinner, that feeling of impotence and not knowing how to make it better, how to get closer to Evie and to communicate with Archie without rowing had all rippled through her.
‘It’s more that I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me, and he doesn’t know my kids or Midge. And I don’t think he’s a bad person. I like him! But I don’t think he minds that he doesn’t know us all. I always get the impression that he has enough people and doesn’t need any of us.’
‘That’s ...’ She tried and failed to find the words to knock this theory on the head. Her sister wasn’t done.
‘He’s my brother-in-law, but I have no idea if he prefers tea or coffee, whether he has any allergies, his favourite board game, has he ever broken a bone, all the things that would come up in conversation if we spent time together.’ Remy shrugged. ‘Just normal stuff.’
‘I see, normal stuff,’ she echoed.
‘It’s a bit like ...’ Remy hesitated.
‘Go on, spit it out.’ Ashleigh braced herself.
‘It’s a bit like it’s the first time I’ve ever met him, whenever I see him. We’re ill at ease. He seems awkward, like he doesn’t knowwhether to kiss me or shake my hand and doesn’t look me in the eye, like he’s nervous.’
‘Maybe you make him nervous! Maybe he can sense you are about to bombard him with questions about board games and broken bones!’ she deflected, because this felt easier than to admit there was truth in her sister’s words.
‘Maybe.’ Remy pointed ahead. ‘You need to get into the lane on the left, and then it loops back around to the drive-thru.’
Ashleigh indicated and followed her sister’s outstretched hand. ‘Can’t believe we’re getting KFC for lunch on Dad’s birthday.’
‘Don’t worry. None of your friends inLondonwill ever know!’
‘Don’t be mean!’
‘I wasn’t. I was trying to be funny! It was a joke!’ Remy laughed.
She shook her head. It was hard enough coming here and trying to pick up where they’d left off, to find the path that would take them back to different times, when they were as one, without feeling the wrap of guilt around her shoulders.
