‘Happy birthday, Dad!’ she called as he climbed into the back of her Corsa, Sophie next to him. Her mother, as befitting the matriarch, took the front seat.
‘Thank you, Remy.’ He crinkled his eyes shut in love for her.
‘You don’t want to sit in the front? A birthday treat?’ she teased, nodding at her mother, who was busy adjusting her skirt.
‘No, it’s easier for her to co-pilot from there.’ He winked at Remy in the rear-view mirror. ‘I see number twenty-two have left their wheelie bin out again!’ He shook his head as they drove past. ‘How hard can it be to pop it inside the gate? It clearly states on the council leaflet that bins are not to be left out on the pavement after collection day. It’s these small details that can wreck a neighbourhood!’
Remy stared at her daughter in the mirror, and they exchanged a knowing look. Sophie, no doubt, like her, thinking that if the worst thing a neighbourhood had to contend with was a misplaced wheelie bin, then it was hardly wrecked.
‘Will there be something you can eat at the pub, Sophie?’ Her mum spoke through the gap between the seats. ‘I know you don’t eat meat or chicken or anything like that.’
Remy decided not to point out that chicken was meat.Potato potarto ...
‘There will be, Nan. Last time I went they had a chickpea curry and a couple of starters to choose from. I’ll be fine.’
‘Don’t you ever want to try a nice steak or a bit of crispy bacon?’
‘I don’t, Grandad, no.’
‘Well I never.’ Her dad shook his head as if he just didn’t get it. ‘Do you think they’d be offended if I reminded them at number twenty-two of the rules about bin stowage? Don’t want to fall out with anyone, but it is a bit much.’
And just like that they were back to the bins.
‘Slow down, Remy. We want to arrive in one piece.’ Her mum tutted and gripped her seat belt as if this might, in the event of an accident, make all the difference.
Remy felt it churlish to point out that A) instead of tutting, her mother might acknowledge that she’d come out of her way to collect them and that it had caused ripples of unease between her and Midge, and B) she was doing thirty-three miles per hour on a stretch of road where the speed limit was forty. It wasn’t lost on her that whether fourteen or forty, she still didn’t feel able to answer back.
‘Although we don’t want Ashleigh to be kept waiting,’ her dad pointed out. And for a split second, Remy genuinely didn’t know whether to pump the brakes or hit the accelerator. This was what they did, confused her, turned her into her seven-year-old selfwithout confidence in her own decision-making or her ability to get a task done. It was bloody infuriating!
‘Shame Archie had a work thing.’ Her mum changed the topic. ‘He’s a very busy man, has a very important job.’
‘Apparently so.’
Remy stared straight ahead. It bothered her, howbusythey thought Archie was, whereas Midge, who ran himself ragged trying to keep all the plates spinning and everyone happy, doing everything and anything for his family and anyone else who cared to ask, well, to hear her mother talk, you’d think Midge spent his days sitting on his arse.
‘How’s the outside tap working out, Dad?’ She slowed and indicated at the junction.
‘Oh, it’s grand! Everything’s so much easier. I can water all the tubs, clean the car.’
The car you never use ...
‘Good,’ she breathed. ‘I’ll let Midge know.’ She subtly made the point.
The car park at The Plough was rammed.
‘Goodness only knows where Ashleigh’s going to park. She’s got that big old car!’ Again, her mother came in with that tut.
‘Or Midge in that big old van!’ Remy clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth.
‘You might have to drop us off and go and find somewhere to park, love,’ her dad suggested.
‘Yes. Why don’t I do that?’ She bit her tongue. Literally and figuratively.
With her parents decanted, shepherded by Sophie, she reversed out of the awkward, narrow car park and drove back out to the main road, abandoning her car a little way along, with two wheels up on the grass, where a couple of others had done the same thing. She took a minute, gathering herself, calming her pulse andreminding herself that it was her dad’s special day, and everyone was very excited. Emotions were bound to run a little high, and it would be over soon enough.
Midge pulled up behind her and jumped out.
‘I’ve just dropped the kids with your mum and dad. Didn’t want them tackling the verge.’
