‘I’ll go grab her.’ Remy left the table, and Ashleigh poured the hot water into the teapot, letting the bags steep.
Her sister returned not minutes later, and she was smiling. Her face momentarily one she recognised. With her baby girl in her arms, gone was the hardened frown of unhappiness, the clenched jaw of dissatisfaction, even the heavy eyelids of fatigue. All of it gone, for a few seconds.
‘There she is!’ Reaching out, Ashleigh scooped Sophie into her arms. To feel the trusting weight of her was something quite beautiful. ‘Hello, cutie! Hello, littlest dove!’
‘Don’t drop her,’ Remy instructed as she grabbed a baby bottle from the cumbersome sterilising unit that took up a large chunk of her parents’ countertop.
‘I won’t drop her! God, give me some credit!’ She stared at the face of her baby niece and felt the tug of love. She and Archie had spoken about kids, of course they had, and both agreed that it would happen, or not, when the time was right; they were far too busy being busy and having fun to consider it yet, and while she might not have said it outright, she would be just as happy if it was ‘not’, unsure if she’d be any good at it. Another paper cut of self-doubt that came as a result of living and feeling like a fraud.
‘How long are you staying?’
‘Bloody hell, Rem, I’ve only just got here!’
‘I was just thinking about the sleeping arrangements, that’s all. Archie not coming?’
‘No, he’s got a work thing. Hector, his boss, is a nightmare, working him into the ground. He’s actually a friend of Dickie’s, and so Archie can hardly complain, poor love.’
‘Yes, poor love.’
Ashleigh didn’t like her sister’s tone but reminded herself again that Remy was having a hard time right now; the sole reason for her return home.
‘And what about you, Ash? You’ve heard the delights of my life right now, what about you? How’s things in the big smoke?’
‘Well, you remember Guy Gallow, my uni mate?’
‘Yes.’
‘We’re thinking of going into business together.’
‘I thought you liked your job, getting to nose in all those pricey houses around town?’
‘I do, but I’d like it a whole lot more if we had our very own estate agency. We’ve looked at the numbers and we think we can do it. A small loan from the bank, guaranteed by Guy’s mother, cheappremises to start with, no other staff, no wages, but luckily Archie has said he’ll look after everything at home, financially, until I’m on my feet.’ She felt the swell of pride in her stomach, a rare thing for a girl who had always felt like an imposter, but school was over, this was the real world, and she was sure she could make her mark.
‘It sounds fancy.’ Remy smiled at her.
‘It would be fancy.’
‘Come to your nana!’ Ruthie marched into the kitchen and reached for Sophie.
‘I’ve only just got her!’ Ashleigh pulled the baby towards her.
‘We never had this problem. There was always two of you to hold, to feed, to sit with. Everyone got their fair share.’
‘I can’t imagine having two, Mum. Looking after one is hard enough.’ Remy beamed again at her little girl.
‘It gets easier, love.’ Her mum smiled and ran her fingers over her granddaughter’s head. ‘She’s not got your curly hair.’
‘Lucky thing!’ Ashleigh laughed, having never made a secret of her preference for more manageable locks. ‘You don’t regret cutting yours?’ She was curious, the first time she’d ever seen her sister with hair this short.
‘Not really. It’s easier with her.’
She was confused. ‘I don’t get it. Why does having a baby mean it’s easier to have short hair? I don’t follow!’
‘No, you wouldn’t.’ Remy rolled her eyes and Ruthie laughed, leaving her feeling left out. ‘But there are days when I don’t even get to piss without holding her on my lap, I don’t have time to shower, and so it felt easier to have short dirty hair than long dirty hair.’
‘That’s . . .’ She was gobsmacked.
‘What, Ash? What is it?’ Remy stared at her.
