‘Why do you think that makes it okay? Why does anyone? It’s not the law, that anything goes if you’ve had a couple of pints or a glass of plonk. It doesn’t work like that.’
He nodded.
‘All those years ago, but still it makes me feel – eeuw.’ She pulled a face. ‘You’re my ex; we were married, and you slept with Ashleigh.’ She shook her head to help remove the unpalatable images that popped up.
‘I don’t want Ashleigh, I never have, she just ...’ He paused and exhaled from air-filled cheeks.
‘She just what, Jamie?’
‘She just reminded me of you.’ He spoke slowly and she felt a potent mixture of irritation and sadness. She didn’t want him to have any feelings for her other than those of a platonic nature; it made her feel uncomfortable, disloyal to even be hearing it; and sad because he was an idiot and he was Sophie’s dad and she should have chosen better, should have waited for Midge.
‘I really don’t want Soph to hear us arguing. She is so busy with work and the baby, and is obviously upset over my dad,’ she pressed.
‘Yep, I don’t want her to worry about us, either.’
‘Well, look at that, we’re in agreement!’ She reached for the teapot, poured the tea, grabbed mugs, and walked back out to the garden, glad to be gone from him and to feel the fresh air on her face.
Ashleigh took one of the mugs from her.
‘Did I just see you talking to Jamie?’ her sister asked, taking a sip of tea.
‘Yep.’
‘How did it go?’
‘Same as ever. He’s a div.’ Remy rolled her eyes.
‘He is a div.’ Her sister smiled, as if thinking, like her, how lovely it was to be on the same page. ‘I’ve hated not being able to see you, not being able to chat to you, absolutely hated it.’
‘Me too.’ Remy sat back on the bench. Confession felt easy in the moment; besides, it was the truth. ‘At first I was so riled I didn’t want to speak to you or look at you. By the time I’d calmed, months had passed, and then it was a new year, and I didn’t give it as much thought – it was no longer an obsession like it had been – but it also meant I gave you less thought, and then more months passed.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t know how to undo it, how to start over, go back to the beginning.’
‘I understand. But honestly? It’s been the opposite for me. Each month that passed without contact, I’ve thought about you more and more.Missedyou more and more.’ Ashleigh took a swig of her tea. ‘I wanted to call you.’ She rested her mug on her thigh. ‘But didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t want to be picking over the conversation for weeks after, reading between the lines of all the things you had chosen not to share or didn’t say.’
‘What a bloody mess.’ The day’s events suddenly threatened to catch up with her; she felt tired.
‘You could say that. It’s not too late though, Rem?’
The two shared a quiet moment of connection and Remy knew she’d hold it close to her heart for the longest time.
‘No, not too late, Ash.’
‘Are you two hiding?’ Midge called from the back door. ‘Come and help me out. I can’t have the same conversation with your Auntie Jan about her high cholesterol again. I just can’t!’
‘Okay. We’ll come in if we have to.’ Remy smiled at the man, and he let his gaze linger on her. It was everything, that look, that love, still there.
She was reluctant to go back inside, feeling a lump in her throat as she was reminded of the neighbours and relatives, all clad in black, the realisation of why they were all there. It had been possible to dilute this sadness out here in the back garden, building a bridge to her twin.
‘Is this a bad time?’
A voice came from the side patio. A nice voice. Remy turned to see a man in a camel coat standing awkwardly, a fixed smile on his handsome face.
‘No, it’s perfect timing.’ Ashleigh smiled at the man who had an Aston Martin. ‘Midge, Remy, this is Victor.’
‘Two of you!’ He pointed at them with his index fingers, his expression one of perplexation.
‘Yup!’ Ashleigh’s grin was wide, and she understood it had always been a novelty, the thrill of someone spotting the fact there were two of them.
‘Ah, monozygotic, I’m deducing . . .’
