‘Well, I don’t know why I’m crying!’ Enya swiped at the tears that had gathered. It was a heartfelt admission on this night when emotions were already running high.
‘Because it’s beautiful,’ Iris acknowledged. ‘I trust him, Enya, without doubt, I trust him.’
‘This, this can’t be easy for either of you, Holly having a baby. It’s only been an idea up until now, but very soon, that baby will be a reality and it’s not going to be easy. But I think the strength of what you share is the key to making it all work.’
Iris handed Enya a mug of tea and the two walked into the sitting room, taking a seat at either end of the sofa, sharing a closeness both physically and mentally that she could not have envisaged when they first met.
‘If I had the choice, I would of course prefer that Aiden was not about to become a dad with another woman. I considered bolting when I found out. It was hard for me. But it boiled down to the most basic of things really, in that you can’t help who you fall in love with, right? And I’d fallen in love with him, deeply, devotedly in love. So, the only question I had to ask myself once the shock had subsided was, would I rather be with Aiden who was going to become a dad, or would I rather wave goodbye and walk away. Did I want him, wantus, at any cost or was him becoming a dad a cost too high to pay?’
Enya sipped her tea.
‘It never felt like an option, not really. Not when I broke it down like that, because there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for him, even becoming a parent for thefirsttime together, because that’s a milestone already reached for him.’
‘You’re not only smart, but very generous with your love, Iris.’
‘I guess I’ve seen my mum and dad up close for so long, I know how I want marriage to work for me.’
‘I think we all do that to a degree, my parents bicker constantly. I don’t think they have the first clue about how soul sapping it is to be around, how horrible for anyone in their company.’
‘I might prefer it!’ Iris gave a dry laugh. ‘The worst thing for me was the simmering, silent animosity between my mum and dad. Sometimes Mum would yell or make a comment, but most of the time they were quietly brooding, and the atmosphere was awful. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.’
‘They clearly both love you very much.’ She felt the need to offer the salve.
‘They do, I know that,’ Iris jumped in, ‘but it’s still horrible, knowing they both have this incredible capacity for love, for happiness, yet they just couldn’t make it work with each other.’
‘I think people find fulfilment in many ways, and maybe just because one area of their lives is less than perfect...’ She let this trail, feeling entirely uncomfortable at the topic, knowing she might have had a hand to play in Trish’s brooding of recent times that Iris had found so interminable.
‘When I was sixteen, my friend gave me these incredible shoes,’ Iris smiled at no more than the memory, ‘high heels, with an open toe and a dainty bar across the instep. I loved them. They’d been her mum’s and were a size five. I’m a six, but my brain refused to accept that they did not and would never fit me. I tried forcing them on to my feet, cut my foot actually. I steamed them to stretch them. I dieted, thinking I might be able to shrink my feet. I put plasters on my toes and tried to stuff them in. I even sat one night with a pair of scissors.’
‘You weren’t going to snip off a toe or two? No shoe is worth that!’
Iris laughed. ‘No, but I thought I might be able to make a few incisions in the leather to allow them to stretch, which of course would have ruined them entirely.’
Enya thought of that one night, the memory of which she had shared with Dominic: her Mallorcan adventure, when she hadfelt trendy and go-getting with the aid of her sister’s stolen silver platforms.
‘I got a bit obsessed until I woke up one day and realised there would be other shoes. I took them out of my wardrobe and put them in the charity shop in town. They went straight into the window, looking beautiful! And I remember feeling relief that the problem had gone away, but also good that someone else with size five feet would probably love them very much. It also made me think of my mum and dad, holding on to things that weren’t good for them, a relationship that wasn’t healthy. Even then I could see that, like those shoes and my feet, they just didn’t fit.’
Enya remembered the way it had felt to fall into Dominic’s arms, even if only briefly. The utter peace she had felt at the contact and the way they had fitted together perfectly.
‘So what do we know about your mum’s new man?’
‘Not much, he’s called Neil and likes running and yoga. That’s all I got.’
‘I’m pleased for her, Iris.’
‘Me too,’ she managed, before yawning. She placed the half-drunk mug of tea on the end table.
Enya grabbed the soft blanket from the arm of the sofa and spread it over the young woman’s legs, watching as she snuggled down and rested her head on the cushion, her eyes fluttering as the day and night caught up with her and sleep claimed her.
‘Sweetest dreams,’ she whispered, hoping the words might land in her ear.
Enya finished her tea and lay back on the sofa, resting her eyes, just for a second, so happy that she and Iris had shared this closeness and that her approach to the new baby meant it might just all work out after all...
When she came to and glanced at her phone, it was a quarter to five in the morning. Iris was deep in sleep. Not wanting to wakeher, Enya carefully stood and closed the sitting-room door, before quietly creeping into the kitchen.
Frustratingly, she saw she had a missed call from Aiden an hour ago. He hadn’t left a message. She was silently debating whether to call him back and risk interruption of any kind, and thinking about what might be best to text him, when she heard a faint tap on the front door. She walked softly along the hallway, wanting to let Iris rest, before opening the door to her son, who had clearly been crying.
‘Darling!’
