‘Wowee!’ Rhona the celebrant spoke breathlessly as the music came to a close and everyone clapped, everyone! This at the commencement of the ceremony because, unbound by tradition, it felt like the right thing to do. There were even one or two whoops and hollers from the assembled. ‘Now that’s how you start a wedding!’ Rhona began, to much laughter. ‘So, good people, we are here today to celebrate the love of Aiden and Iris and I would like to start by telling you a little story.’ Another ripple of laughter made its way around the marquee. ‘Sometimes it’s the smallest things in life that can turn into the biggest things. A tiny twist of fate that means the universe puts something or someone in your path that is meant for you, meant to be yours.’
Dominic allowed himself a small smile, which Enya matched.
‘This is one such love, which started with a lingering look, a feeling, an indescribable and instantaneous connection that took them both entirely by surprise! But standing here today, can you imagine if they hadnotacted on this moment, can you conceive of a world where they might have denied the pull of destiny and not leapt! Surely that would have been the biggest tragedy of all, and surely it would have been to the detriment of their happiness. And that has to be the goal, right, to be happy?’
‘Yes!’ came calls from the crowd.
‘When two people are shown a path that leads directly to happiness, do they not have a duty to walk it? And what wouldbe the end result if they didn’t? I shall tell you,’ Rhona paused for effect, ‘it would be the biggest missed opportunity of their lives!’
Enya, listening intently to every word spoken, felt the slow, warm creep of tears across her face. Once she started crying, it was like removing a stopper and she really could not stop. It felt monstrously unfair that she could not walk the path that led directly to happiness. Dominic, it seemed, understood as he too let his tears fall freely. And there they stood, facing each other, almost oblivious of everyone else present as they cried, hearts rent, their pain evident.
It was clear to her, the great love story was Iris and Aiden’s, and for her to act on any feelings towards Dominic would place the young couple, with all the challenges that lay ahead for them, under the most enormous strain. Walking that path, acting on these feelings that she was certain were real, had the power to cause turmoil, division, and pain, the very opposite of what she wanted for them. She loved her son and was too fond of Iris to do anything of the sort.
Trish, staring at her only child who stood in all her glory, cried too, but Enya suspected for very different reasons.
‘I’d like to ask you this question,’ Rhona took a breath, ‘what is living, if it isn’t to grab those glorious moments of joy when they are presented to us and to stuff them into our pockets,knowingthat joy, thatloveis what will sustain us on the darker days and in the challenging times. What is living if it is not that?’
Enya finally managed to look away from Dominic’s face, staring at her pale-blue silk wedged espadrille shoes, where a blot of tears sat. It would stain, no doubt, leave a faint salty water mark, but one she would treasure because it contained all that was in her soul, as her heart, full of heaviness, seemed like it might fall right out of her chest given all she felt and all that could not be...
Chapter Thirty-Four
Enya exhaled into the cool winter morning and plonked the three weighty shopping bags by her front door, flexing her chilly palms, which carried the imprint of the handles, before fishing inside her handbag for her key.
It had been twenty-six weeks since Aiden and Iris had married, and it had passed quickly. It felt like mere days ago that she’d been feeling anxious, trying to imagine her son married to Iris, and trying to get her head around the fact that Holly Hudson was having a baby. Now she was feeling anxious about Holly’s due date and when the baby, her first grandchild, would actually arrive.
She thought, not for the first time, about Dominic, still in her phone as HCK, the lovely man who had bashed her door on that day long ago. Iris’s lovely dad, who had, eight weeks ago now, finally moved from The Mount into his flat in the marina to be near his beloved boatFoula Girland was, according to Iris, in his element, as he read guidebooks and nautical charts, planning eventually to escape the worst of the British winter by port hopping around Europe, sampling wine, eating local food, getting a tan, and generally enjoying life.
Iris spoke about it with a certain solemnity, her mouth a little wobbly, and Enya got it, knowing how her own parents’ bickering had taken a toll on her and they were still together. Trish had, according to Aiden, found a thousand reasons why Dominic had to stay a little longer, a fact that was as sad as it was desperate, and not for the first time Enya felt nothing but empathy for the woman. She knew more than most how hard it was to let go.
‘He’s gone, Enya.’
‘I think he might want some water; his mouth looks...’
‘He’s gone, my love. He’s at peace.’
‘I’ll sit here for a while... in case he needs anything.’
Enya was, however, happy for Dominic, even though they weren’t in touch; it sounded like a nice way to live, the planning for his great adventure, and she too had found the ingredients to living a happy, fulfilled life. She read a lot, walked a lot, and worked three days a week in the bookshop on the High Street, impressing the customers and staff alike with her knowledge of growing dahlias, her proficiency at photocopying, and the speed with which she could complete the Rubik’s cube.
Aiden and Iris had settled into married life. As a couple, they seemed invincible! It was as if they had known each other for a lifetime, so easy were their interactions, so in sync their pace and habits. It seemed her son had taken her advice, laying strong foundations on which his marriage was to be built: with open and honest communication and love, always love. To be in their company was a reminder that sometimes you needed to be brave, to cast a stone, cause a ripple, to effect the necessary change. Easy to say, but a whole lot harder to observe when human emotion lay at the heart of such a decision. In the wee small hours, she often wondered how Trish would feel if Enya followedherdeepest desire, how Aiden and Iris would. No matter how she sliced and dicedit, it all felt too risky, when the ripples of their lives had only just dissipated and the water was, for the time being, calm.
And she was happy! Better. Untroubled by the panic attacks that had so thrown her off course.
Iris continued to display her smart, quiet confidence, which was as endearing as it was impressive. The kind of attitude that would only help when it came to navigating the choppy waters of step-parenting and effectively, inadvertently, finding yourself in a marriage of three. The young couple were still living in the annexe at The Mount, a situation Enya didn’t see changing any time soon, their lovely home with the incredible view that changed over the seasons.
Trish relied heavily on Iris. And according to Aiden, fluctuated between feeling angrily abandoned by Dominic’s relocation but also wildly relieved at times, as if happy to live without the stress of their strained existence. She had also stopped drinking and was concentrating on her fitness.
Enya wished her well, knowing herself what that feeling of abandonment was like, remembering how angry she’d been at Jonathan, and how much it had hurt. It was also clear that she might have been a symptom of Dominic’s unhappy marriage, but was not the root cause. For the Sutherlands, the waning, the distance, and the slow erosion of their connection to the point where they had lost momentum and were idling, these things had occurred long before he had inadvertently bashed her car door one sunny summer day.
‘Morning, Enya!’
‘Oh, morning, Maeve!’ She felt the hint of a blush to have been thinking about HCK at all, not that Maeve had ever professed to have or displayed any mind-reading skills, but still. ‘All okay?’ Her neighbour was on the path between their two houses.
‘It’s so bloody cold, not yet midday and it’s freezing!’ The older woman narrowed her shoulders and pulled her woollen scarf closer around her neck.
‘Really? Cold, you say? Well, strike me down! And here’s me in my string bikini and sarong!’
She smiled and nodded. ‘’Tis a bit.’
