‘Here she is! Hide the rosé!’
Movie nights, dinner parties, summer BBQs and birthday celebrations, even drinks on Christmas morning. This house almost as much a part of her life in Mablethorpe Road as her own.
She walked slowly home, knowing all she could do now was wait for a reply.
Chapter Seventeen
Enya fed Pickle and sat in the lounge, waiting for Aiden to come home, waiting for bedtime when she could curl up and try to escape in sleep, waiting for Jenny to acknowledge her letter, just waiting. Her appetite for a packet of custard creams now non-existent.
‘What the hell are we going to do, Jonathan?’
He stared ahead, either deep in thought or still smarting over her bath-time chat last night. Whichever, it didn’t feel good. Aiden’s key in the door robbed her of the chance to ponder further.
‘Hiya!’ he called. He sounded happy, so happy, and she hated that she was about to take a knife to that balloon of ecstasy and pop it. Equally, it bothered her how unaffected he sounded while Holly was in turmoil.
‘In here, love!’ she called and sat up, settling her hands into her lap.
‘How was your day?’ He poked his head around the door.
‘It was okay. Come and sit down.’ She nodded at the chair next to Jonathan.
‘I will, just going to get a beer.’
He was humming as he dropped his bag on the oak floor. Then the sound of him fumbling in the kitchen, opening the fridge door, the tinny drop of a bottle lid falling into the sink, and there he was, shirt undone at the collar, smiling, beer in hand, sinkingdown into the comfy seat with his legs stretched out and his breath even, looking and sounding so much like his dad that she had to look away.
‘I spoke to Iris all the way home.’ He beamed. ‘I was actually glad to be sitting in traffic. How nuts is that? She was telling me this convoluted story about getting stuck in a rabbit hutch when she was a kid, her cousin had dared her to get in it and she did, but then she couldn’t get out. It was so sweet; she was too scared to open her eyes and her dad had to come and saw the top off. We talk utter shite, but honestly, Mum, she’s still the person I would rather listen to than any other. I can’t imagine ever running out of things to say.’
She remembered being that way with Jonathan when they were brand new and their future lay ahead like a shiny thing, untarnished and precious. They’d talk until the early hours, caring less that their alarm was set for the working day, not wanting to waste a second on sleep. It was only in recollection that she realised they had grown quieter with each passing year. It was different when you knew what someone thought about everything, could predict how they would respond, even whether they wanted a cup of tea or not, no need for words. They simply moved together in an established dance, hand to hand, hip to hip, slipping against each other, and with no more than a look, a glance, a nod, a wink, in sync.One team...The truth was, she spoke to him more now that he was dead. Funny, that.
Her stomach rolled with nerves; she hated that she was about to hoover up her son’s joy, to coin a phrase, in the most spectacular way.
‘Iris and I have been talking about where we want to live, it’s horrible being apart. Neither of us can stand it. And it seems the best solution, because I only have to go into the office two days a week and can easily commute, is that I move in with her. She hasthe annexe thing at her mum and dad’s, a garden room, kind of. I’m going over tomorrow and will stay for a couple of days, to help with wedding planning and stuff, if that’s okay? God, even saying wedding planning is like waaaaah!’ He splayed his hand and raised his voice, giddy with it all.
She would have been hard pushed to remember the last time he had chatted to her like this, shared his life in this way. No TV, no background distraction, no phone in hand, no quick commentary or update as they collided in hallways or corridors, or shouted over shoulders as they left the house. It was lovely to hear him so happy, yet it was also another lifeline severed; he was leaving her, leaving the area to go and join Iris and her family in the annexe thing. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep him tethered to her, of course not, but how she would miss him. His lust for life, now the thing that made her aware that he had, in recent months, been more than a little subdued. His words and energy, however, for a life that seemed to have cruelly cut Holly out, erasing her so quickly, made it impossible for Enya to share his enthusiasm, especially in light of the news she was yet to share. He didn’t wait for her response.
‘We’re going to save for a deposit, Mum, and hopefully get our own place, I mean, that’s the plan.’
This would ordinarily have been big news, something to be dissected and celebrated, with her predictable prompt about taking their time and going gently, but not tonight, not with even bigger news that would knock her son’s proposed living arrangements into a footnote of insignificance. And, uncomfortably, she didn’t entirely hate the fact that he was being forced back down to earth. It wasn’t her belief that joy could be savoured when the trade-off was another person’s happiness. That, she knew, was a price not worth paying. Plus, to hear him racing towards the next thing at a hundred miles an hour with this girl he had only known for five minutes wouldhave been deeply concerning if she were not already wrestling with something farmoreconcerning.
‘What do you think?’ He held his beer still, waiting for her to comment.
‘I saw Holly today,’ she began, keeping her voice level to give the subject the gravitas required. He breathed out through his nose, as if a little irked to have his bubble burst by the reminder.
‘How was she?’ He blinked.
‘She wants you to go over there this evening, to talk about things, about where you go from here.’ This a verbal stepping stone, leading towards the big reveal, a path she trod with caution.
‘I don’t see the point, Mum. I don’t want to be mean to her or sound like a dick, but it’s like, we’ve had that explosive conversation. We can’t keep having it, it’s just exhausting and doesn’t help either of us. I’ve told her that she can stay in the flat, she can have everything in it we bought together, and I’ll even pay the rent for the next three or four months while she decides what to do. I want her to be okay, I still care about her, of course I do, but—’
‘Aiden.’ Enya sat forward until she was on the edge of the sofa.
‘What’s the matter?’ He too sat forward and put the beer on the end table, next to the lamp.
‘Holly is pregnant.’
Her son laughed, letting out a low, long chuckle of disbelief, until he stopped laughing. He wagged his finger at her.
‘That’s not funny.’ He licked his mouth and swallowed.
