‘All right, no need to take it out on me!’
Angela was right, of course. Enya took a deep breath.
‘It’s all bloody awful! I’m trying to be happy for Aiden, of course I am, but I can’t imagine what Holly is going through and Jen’s ignoring me, I think. It’s... bloody awful!’ She could think of nothing more apt to describe the situation.
‘Don’t get your knickers in a twist, it’s all going to happen or not and you getting wound up won’t help or change a thing.’
Enya bit her lip, deciding not to point out that it was her sister’s line of questioning and less than positive reaction that had caused her knickers to twist in the first place.
‘Anyway, we’ll be back on Tuesday, and we can discuss it all properly then. Right, got to go, I said I’d help Mum whitewash her veranda. Don’t worry, I’ll give Jen a ring.’
The fact that her sister and best friend were going to be in contact filled Enya with a sense of exclusion that felt like a stab in her chest, picturing the two women chatting, talking about her and Aiden and the whole sorry state of affairs, no doubt. It bothered her.
She didn’t have an extensive network of friends, instead she was part of this close-knit trio, and to be on the outside was painful. Her old friend anxiety pawed at her, and she took a deep breath. ‘Okay, say hi to everyone for me.’
‘I will. Love you.’ Angela ended their call in the way that was customary.
‘Love you.’ Enya looked up to see Aiden standing in the doorway, no time to give in to the panic that threatened her. ‘Hello, love, how did you sleep?’
‘Do you really think it’s all bloody awful?’ he asked with such desolation that she felt like the very worst parent in the world.
‘I... I do a bit, yes.’ She watched him walk into the bedroom and collapse on the end of her bed. ‘Not the fact that you’ve fallen for Iris, although I admit, I don’t understand it, Aiden.’
‘You doubt how we feel about each other?’ He looked crestfallen.
‘Yes,’ she levelled, ‘not because you’re being deceitful, but because I think it’s more likely infatuation that can’t help but wane. And I don’t want you to get hurt or to hurt anyone, any more than you have to, and getting married quickly feels a little...’Foolishwas the word she wanted to say. ‘Risky.’ Felt safer.
‘It’s real. I love her.’
‘How can you know?’ she asked softly.
‘How can any of us ever know? Who can be one hundred per cent certain?’ he countered.
‘You can’t, love, and that’s why going gently is advisable.’
‘Holly and I were going gently, and I wasn’t happy. Well, I thought I was, but what Iris and I have is off the charts!’ His tone was almost imploring.
‘I guess I wanted you and Holly to go the distance because you would know each other inside and out, like it was for me and your dad. That shared history. Together for so long, so in love that we almost knew what the other was thinking. So in tune that we knew how to handle any situation just by looking at the other one. In sync. One team.’
The fact that she and Jonathan had gone the distance felt like a badge of honour, an achievement, and for her son to be throwing in the towel before he and Holly had even made it out of their twenties felt a lot like giving up on something solid for something new and shiny. She just didn’t want him to make a mistake, although he was right, of course, there were never any guarantees.
‘Iris and I are in sync.’
Enya could see this was an argument that she was in no position to win because her son was in no mood to listen.
‘Yep.’ She nodded.
‘You don’t believe me, that’s why you said to Auntie Angela that you thought it was bloody awful.’
‘I did say that, because Holly is hurt and it’s your fault, your actions that have hurt her. You’ve cheated on her and that’s, it’s a lot.’
His head hung forward, in the way that it did whenever he was being admonished, reminding her so powerfully of him as a little boy that it was hard to continue.
‘I also think that it feels like a pressure, this super-fast wedding, having to organise something that quickly. And, yes, risky.’ She figured that if they were addressing the elephant in the room then she may as well discuss the entire herd. ‘I can’t imagine how Holly will feel when she finds out, and I just don’t think three weeks is long enough to get to know someone, to have them figured out. Three weeks in a beautiful place like Italy, enjoying the sunrises and sunsets of Rome, is not real life. It’s a holiday. To truly know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to spend a wet weekend with them walking around Woolworths. You need to bicker, run out of money and steam, you need to nurse them when they’ve a cold and be disgusted by how they dunk biscuits in tea until they’re mush and then eat them.’ She looked across to the window where Jonathan now stood, smiling in recognition of his very unattractive habit. ‘You should be with them long enough to feel exasperated by them, but also to build a connection that is strong, unshakeable, and I don’t honestly think you can do that in three weeks.’
Her son took his time in responding. She worried she had gone too far, fearing him packing a bag and leaving her alone almost as much as she did the prospect of this rather rushed match.
‘If you think this is easy for me, Mum, you’re wrong. I’ll never forget Holly’s face when I told her that we were over. And I don’t expect you to understand, I don’t even need you to give us your approval, although I’d like it, we both would. But love doesn’t need approval or permission, it just arrives, and we all have to make space for it. Wearegoing to get married on August the eighteenth andwe are going to be happy. I will spend my whole life doing my very best to make her happy. Or I’ll die trying. It really is that simple.’
