‘You say that, but things can get, I don’t know, a bit stale when you’ve been with someone for a long time, and maybe what you feel for, the girl, erm...’
‘Iris.’
‘Yep, sorry, Iris.’ It felt bizarre, talking about her only child’sfiancée, a young woman she would not have been able to pick out in a line-up and who she knew nothing about. Apart from the fact she too had spent time in Italy, and who at that very moment was walking around with an engagement ring on the third finger of her left hand that Aiden had given to her with a promise. A girl who had a date set for her forthcoming marriage and was probably already thinking about frocks and flowers for her big day. Enya feltthe beginnings of a headache. This was a lot. ‘Maybe, maybe what you feel for her is so powerful because it’s new and exciting and a novelty, and it’s probably a lot about sex, new sex, different sex.’
‘God, Mum!’ He pulled a face and turned his head to look out of the window.
‘You know what I mean!’ She didn’t want to be talking to him about sex any more than he wanted to hear her talking about it, but it felt important for him to consider all angles and not jump into something he just might live to regret. A choice that could cause a bow wave that had the power to drown them all. ‘I’m trying to say and do the right thing here. It’s like walking a tightrope between encouraging you to live your best life and not wanting you to make a terrible mistake.’
‘Dad always used to say the best way to learn was to make a mistake.’ He looked right at her now.
‘Yes! He meant by putting the wrong fuel in the lawnmower, losing your wallet, missing a flight, getting on the wrong train, failing your cycling proficiency – not going on a course for three weeks and coming back with a whole other life plan, with a date set for a wedding to a complete stranger you met on a bloody plane!’ Momentarily she forgot to hide her concern and instantly regretted it.
‘I knew you’d be like this!’
‘Like what?’ She did her best to hide her indignancy.
‘Like . . . hoovering up my joy.’
‘What a lovely thing to say to me,’ she snorted. ‘I am your flag bearer, your advocate and I always have been, and to say that is just, bloody horrible!’ His words hurt; the thought that he might mean it hurt more.
They were silent for a breath.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I’m just so sad to be away from her, saying goodbye was horrible. And I know it sounds weird, but eventhough I’m here in this car, I’m still wherever she is, mentally. I’m still with her, does that make any sense?’
She looked into the rear-view mirror, where she could see Jonathan staring back at her. He looked less than impressed. She wondered if it was because she had allowed Dominic to creep back into her thoughts or because she seemed to be spectacularly messing up this pivotal conversation with their son.
‘Not really. But no matter how sad you are, you can’t take it out on me, because that’s not fair.’ She spoke frankly.
‘I know. Iamsorry.’
‘That’s okay.’ She looked right at him, thinking how only three weeks ago she had longed to have his attention, a vital conversation like this, to feel needed, engaged, valued. What was it they said? Be careful what you wish for.
‘We’ve hardly slept.’
She discreetly pulled a face, wondering if this was how he felt whenshehad mentioned sex. ‘Well, I don’t need the details.’
This not least because she loved Holly, loved Jenny and this whole topic felt disloyal. Her gut folded at the thought of her best friend, wondering again how on earth she would handle the news? Aiden, she felt sure, would make the hate list, probably knocking Poirot off the top slot, but they’d find a way through, they always did.
‘How do I cope without him, Jen?’she had bawled after Jonathan’s funeral.
‘You’ll cope because we are next door but one, here for whatever you need, whenever you need it...’
Aiden tutted, drawing her back into the moment. ‘God, not that! Although yes that, but we just can’t stop talking. About everything! I want to know what she’s thinking. I love her opinions, her views, and we knew we had to sleep, but there was always something important to say, we didn’t want to waste a minute ofbeing together sleeping, so we’d sit up all night, watching the sun set and rise on the city. I won’t ever forget a minute of it, not ever. We want to go back to Rome and take our kids when they come along.’
Enya twisted her body to fully face her boy, trying to accept that he was talking about forever, and kids! This from the man who had stated with confidence that babies were not on the agenda for a good while yet.
It was rare that she couldn’t find the words.
‘You’re going to love her, Mum.’ And there it was again, that beaming smile, like flicking a switch. ‘She’s beautiful, and smart and funny and it’s like she’s mine, like she was always mine and I was hers and we just didn’t know it. But now we do and there’s no way we want to waste a minute longer than we have to being apart.’
Poor Holly!She managed to swallow the thought and not let it leap from her tongue, knowing it might be incendiary in the midst of his admission of love.
‘You said you spoke to her dad?’ Enya carried the vague hope that the girl’s family might be similarly concerned and would encourage the couple to slow things down. Maybe hoping, like her, that it would fizzle enough for them to see reason, to not jump in too hastily, but to give things time, to understand that this heightened feeling would not last, probably just an infatuation, an attraction, but certainly nothing with a foundation that would last a lifetime, because what the bloody hell could you learn about someone in justthree weeks?
‘Yes, her family seem lovely,solovely! They’re really excited.’
Damn.
