‘I can’t imagine, Enya,’ Iris levelled, ‘I can’t imagine having to spend time in the company of a couple who once shared something but had to find a way to make it work when it all fell apart. Nope, I can’t imagine it at all.’
Enya watched as Iris raised her glass of water towards Aiden in salute, who winked at her in return as he turned to chat to Holly and Columbus. It struck her then that these youngsters who she had felt instinctively she needed to protect at all costs, they could actually teach her a thing or two. They were marvellous. She feltthe flare of emotion in her throat and a tingling in her toes at just the possibility of chasing that kind of love.
‘You are so very wise, Iris Brown.’
‘I am. And I’m saying that you can let go of the saddle now, because we’re not going to fall, Aiden, Holly and I, we’re going to be okay, and you’re going to be okay, I promise you.’
Enya stared at the girl, letting her words settle. It was a thought as scary as it was exciting, the prospect that she might actually be free to run towards the horizon.
‘I don’t know what to say to you, Iris. I just don’t know what to say.’ She felt a little dizzy as her head swam; it was a lot to digest.
‘You don’t have to say anything, just promise me you’ll think about it. And even if my dad is not the answer. Even if he’s not what you’re looking for. Even if the timing is wrong for you both, or you’ve had a change of heart, or he’s had a change of heart, that’s not really the point.’
‘Isn’t it?’ she asked, genuinely perplexed now.
‘No. You’ve come so far, even in the short time I’ve known you, I can’t imagine what it must have been like having your life turned upside down, losing Jonathan. But it’s about finding the courage, Enya, it’s about finding the courage to begin this next chapter.’
‘I’ve never been overly courageous.’
‘I don’t believe that, not for a minute. You’ve never once not been there for Aiden or me or Holly, or Amelia, never judging, always positive and honest! I think you’re quite wonderful.’
‘I would hate Trish to think—’
‘It’s irrelevant what my mum thinks,’ Iris interrupted, ‘she’s happy, and she will be happy, no matter what. Whether Neil is forever or not, she’s finally found her stride and if that all goes pear-shaped, then she will have to pick herself up and dust herself off, it’s what we do.’
‘I really hope you’re right.’ She pictured the woman on the path in her beautiful teal coat dress who had cried and spoken so openly.
‘She’s at the beginning, when everything feels possible. But it doesn’t last, does it? The gloss quickly wears off and you realise that marriage is not all you thought it was cracked up to be, not all you thought itmightbe, all it could be, and it’s bloody disappointing...’
Enya knew it would take a while to let the words her daughter-in-law had spoken permeate. Words that effectively stripped her of her last coat of armour, the protective shields she wore around her heart and her body. This was why she had held back, fear of making life complicated for these very smart kids, and letting Jonathan down, of devaluing their precious love by moving on.
‘Where have you always wanted to go, Enya?’
‘Oh, well, lots of lovely places. Jonathan and I used to travel a lot and always had our next trip lined up, he’d even booked something, but we never got there.’
‘That’s a shame.’
‘Mmm...’ She nodded. ‘Jonathan was always a great organiser, he liked to pair the food with the place we were going, he’d even look at the menus of restaurants we might visit and choose what he was going to have before we’d even set foot in the country! It was quite comforting knowing what was ahead of me, knowing what the plan was.’
This metaphor for life wasn’t lost on her.
‘You should go. You should go and see some of those lovely places.’ Iris spoke with conviction.
‘What, just pack a bag and up sticks?’
Iris pulled a face and nodded. ‘Yes. That’s exactly what you should do. Aiden and I can come and stay here while you’re away – to be honest, you’d be doing us a favour. I don’t want to hear one more tip from Neil on how I can get more protein into my diet, and the sight of my mother doing the downward dog on the terrace in all weathersis enough to put Aiden off his muesli. Plus, we can then look after Pickle, and Aiden will be down the road from Holly and Amelia.’
‘It sounds like you’ve given it quite a lot of thought.’
‘Not at all. It’s just popped into my head!’
‘You’re a terrible liar, Iris Brown.’
‘I am,’ Iris admitted, ‘and so are you.’
The two women shared a knowing look. And it was in this moment that Enya felt the pull on her back at the spread of her wings, as slowly she rose from the ashes, feeling a new wave of energy. A shift had occurred, and she felt imbued by the courage to finally take flight.
‘I have a map, Enya.’
