‘Sail off into the sunset.’ He made it sound so simple, when the reality was anything but; how on earth would Aiden and Iris react? And what of the life she had built here, her new job, feeling more at ease in her neighbourhood, the ebb of her paralysing grief for Jonathan, and now the chance to rebuild bridges with Jenny and Phil. She smiled to think how far she had come since the dark days of panic and fear at what the future might hold, not to mention the arrival of Amelia.
‘Yes! Sail off into the bloody sunset, why not?’
‘Because...’ Enya took her time, knowing her words were some of the hardest she would ever have to deliver, knowing that to speak her truth meant hurting someone who was very important to her, someone who had the potential, in fact, to be everything, ‘because Holly has just had a baby. Because Aiden and Iris are newly married. Because I have responsibilities to these people and because I love my home, love my life!’
‘What, and you can’t dispense your wisdom from a boat? You can’t be on the end of a line twenty-four-seven to answer any queries or be there with words of encouragement? You can’t do that while at the same time finding your own path to happiness? It sounds a lot like self-imposed martyrdom when you put it like that.’
‘And whenyouput it like that, Dominic, it letsmeknow that you don’t truly understand my role here. Yes, I can be on the end of a phone, but that won’t help when Holly needs a babysitter or to escape from her parents or to take a moment of rest. Yes, I can dispense wisdom to Aiden down the phone, but it won’t let me look in his eyes and understand that what he’s saying and what he’s feeling are very often not the same two things. Our kids are young and fresh and trying to figure so much out. I need to be here. More than that, I want to be here! I really do!’
‘I think, Enya Brown, that you and I could be one of the great love stories. I think we could make each other incredibly happy for the rest of our lives and these kids on this new adventure – that’sthe short term. They won’t always need you in the way that you see it, not like they do now.’
‘Then I guess I’ll have to rethink my life as I go along, won’t I, and I’m prepared to do that, Dominic.’
My hand firmly on the tiller . . .
‘And I wonder where I’ll be then. Wherever it is, know that I’ll be thinking of you.’
The way he softly whispered this madeherwonder if he had said this aloud or whether she’d actually imagined it.
‘Right, I have to go, Dominic, I have to go.’ The weight of his words fell heavily on her shoulders; she had heard enough.
‘I’ll think about you, Enya. I’ll think about you often. Every time I see a perfect sunset, every time I wake to a crimson dawn on a day full of promise, I will know that the only way it could be bettered was if you were by my side. I think I could love you, love you deeply...’
Enya held her breath. He had said it, broken the boundary, smashed the glass and let the words fly high above them, from which there was no going back.
‘It’s you and me, Enya B, us against the world!’
‘Actually no, that’s,’ he sounded a little angry, frustrated, ‘IknowI could love you. I know it, and the fact that we can’t be together for whatever reason, whatever blocks you’re putting in our way, feels like the cruellest punishment.’
Enya could barely speak. He didn’t get it, didn’t understand the havoc such a love, were it allowed to flourish, would wreak on their children! It was a complication she could not, would not bring to their door. His words, however, she would replay when she woke on a cold winter’s morning and pictured him staring at a perfect sunset or waking to the crimson dawn on a day full of promise.
‘Goodbye, Dominic.’ Her voice no more than a scratched whisper, clawing its way from her distressed throat. ‘Goodbye...’
Chapter Thirty-Six
Enya leaned back against the wall, creating as much space as possible as Holly walked in with possibly the most ornate cake she had ever seen. The girl had made it herself, obviously, and it was worthy of a place on any shelf in the finest patisserie imaginable. The kind of cake Enya liked to ogle on her fancy cake programmes. It was Holly’s way; she had a gift, presenting everything she made with so much love and care.
‘You are such a clever girl, Holly!’ Maeve called out from her comfy chair in the corner of Jenny’s kitchen.
Columbus, who it seemed found nearly everything funny, laughed as he clapped. He put Enya in mind of a golden retriever, in that he had an abundance of blond hair and was never in bad humour. She liked him enormously. They all did, Holly included...
Holly’s meticulous attention to detail certainly seemed to be a contributing factor to the fabulous homewares and lifestyle website she and Columbus had set up, which was proving to be extremely popular. Enya had even made a couple of purchases, including the fancy-pants collar that Madam Pickle Paws now wore around her neck.
Phil whooped and hollered his delight at the sight of the cake, made for Amelia’s ‘welcome to the world’ party. Angela and Frank, Aiden and Iris too, all looked on with delight, utterly besotted with the beautiful baby girl who was pure magic! She had brought love, light and joy when they had needed it most.
The plan was for Enya and Jenny to each look after her one day a week, but the two had already discussed how they might spend these days together, sharing the childcare while taking it in turns to tempt her with glorious morsels for lunch, reading her books, washing her little clothes, and letting her rest within their warm embrace. The little girl felt like the glue that would repair the cracks in their lovely friendship. A friendship she truly relished and one, having tasted life without, Enya knew she would cherish, as they healed together.
The biggest surprise to her was Iris, her beloved daughter-in-law. Iris was a generous spirit; her kind nature and her unconditional love of Aiden meant she built a bridge that led to Amelia with every word she spoke and everything she did. Enya was beyond thankful for her, understanding how a young woman of a different nature might have made things far less harmonious.
Trish had only recently, and surprisingly, become engaged. According to Iris, the teetotal couple seemed to enjoy nothing more than attending exotic yoga retreats, and then holding dinner parties during which they could tell you in great, great detail all about their latest adventure. And where they served bright beets, scarlet peppers, turmeric-scented dhals and any number of healthy dishes that could, with no more than one small slip of a spoon, stain a pristine kitchen if you weren’t careful.
She hadn’t heard from Dominic since that night last month when he’d been about to launchFoula Girl, chasing his dreams and following his path to happiness. Not that she didn’t think about him from time to time, of course she did, and suspected she alwayswould. But the fact was her life was here, here with these people with whom she mattered, all staring at her beloved granddaughter, who was passed around, sleeping soundly, wrapped tightly in a blanket of adoration.
‘I’ll cut the cake!’ Jenny called as she grabbed the knife from the utensil pot, before she and Holly grappled with the vast confection, taking it to a safe spot on the counter.
‘A big piece for me!’ Angela yelled. Enya shot her a look. ‘What?’ Her sister pulled a face. ‘It’s not every day I become a great-aunt!’
Iris came and stood next to Enya, while Phil and Aiden did as they often did, sat in front of Amelia, staring at her as if they still couldn’t quite believe that this little angel was real and was theirs.
