For the first time, Tawrie wondered if her absence might encourage her mother to seek help. If she wasn’t on hand for every eventuality, could that be the thing that forced Annalee to take control? She could only hope so. Either way, she knew it was time to make the changes she needed for her own happiness, time to forge her own path. It was a prospect that was equally terrifying and thrilling.
‘Excited for tonight?’ Her nan released her and looked into her face.
‘Yep!’ she lied. Her energy for the Gunn Fire wasn’t what it usually was, not with the lingering hurt of Ed wrapped around her heart and the acute disappointment that this year she had thought she might arrive at Rapparee Cove with a partner to dance with around the flames, one who might help her home afterwards. Shefully accepted what Maudie had said – that he was not ‘the one’, because if he were, things would have turned out very differently. Yet, even with this level of understanding, her heart didn’t hurt any less.
‘But first my swim.’ She kissed her nan on the cheek. ‘I’m not working until mid-morning – Connie said no rush – and then we’ll do cards when we have cake later, like we usually do.’ It was only in recent years that she’d understood the ritual was more than likely to allow her mother to sober up and be present for the exchange of birthday cards around the kitchen table. Birthday or not, there was no way Annalee would let an event like this get in the way of her drinking.
‘See you later, birthday girl!’ Freda called.
‘Seeyoulater, birthday girl!’ She double-pointed at her nan. These jokes never got old.
Tawrie pedalled up Fore Street and gave a start at the sight of the honey-coloured lamplight coming from the landing of Corner Cottage. Was he home? Her heart skipped and she held her breath when a woman’s face appeared at the window, an older woman in a nightdress who with her arms wrapped around her trunk, looked wistfully down the street. Just like that Tawrie’s heart rate settled and she kept her gaze onward. It wasn’t surprising he’d rented the cottage out – that was, after all, the norm and it had, she’d noticed, been empty for nearly a month. It was closure of sorts and she did her best to embrace it.
‘New beginnings. I’m not going to fret over him today. Not on my birthday,’ she whispered, determined to keep her maudlin thoughts and reflections at bay.
Her arrival at Hele Bay Beach was not without fanfare. She cackled with joy as she parked her bike.
‘Happy birthday!’ Maudie carried a helium balloon towards her, a big red heart. Tawrie howled her laughter. Jago stood by hiswife like her assistant but his face was split by a smile that shouted affection. ‘Okay, Jago, one ... two ... three ...’ She counted her husband in and for what felt far longer than the seconds it took, her fellow Peacocks sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her very loudly, slightly off-key, and even included a couple of ‘Hip hip! Hoorays!’ for good measure at the end, which only prolonged the ordeal.
Tawrie found it both endearing and mortifying in equal measure and was thankful the beach was empty.
‘Wow! Thank you! Thank you so much! And will you look at that! Can’t remember the last time I had a balloon! It’s ace, thank you both so much!’
‘We’ve made you a cake too. Come back to the cottage after our swim and we can have hot chocolate and a big slice.’
‘I will, thank you, Maudie.’ Reaching out she pulled the woman into a hug, before tying the bobbing balloon to her handlebars. ‘And thank you, Jago! You guys are the best.’ She then hugged the lovely man who had given her such good advice when it felt like her heart might break and she couldn’t seem to stem her tears.
‘Right!’ Maudie clapped. ‘Birthday or not the water awaits!’
The three walked with purpose down to the shoreline, every bit as proud and upstanding as the peacocks they represented.
An ostentation, no less.
Tawrie pulled away in the water and quickly got into her stride, breathing in time with each stroke. It was one of those swims when her body fell into an easy rhythm and she felt at one with the sea, taking as much comfort from it as she ever had.
Here I am, Dad...Here I amon my birthday. I wonder what the day was like for you? Nan has said it was the best day of your life when I came along, but she says a lot of things, I’m sure, just to make me feel better. Over twenty years without you and one day soon, I’ll surpass the age to which you survived. That’ll be strange. All the time I think about how different my life would be if you were here. Oneloving parent would make all the difference. I think I’d be less lonely. And that’s all any of us want, right? Not to be lonely. Anyway, I have news, big news. I guess, I’ve decided...
‘Tawrie! Tawrie!’ Jago shouted with such urgency, it was a jolt to her system that halted her in her tracks, prematurely ending her chat with her dad. She stopped swimming, breathing hard, and turned in the water to locate him. Her overriding thought was that one of them must be in peril and she quaked at the thought, knowing how easy it would be to open a mouth, let the lungs fill with water and sink to the bottom like a stone. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, but one she’d had often enough nonetheless – never with the intention of doing so, but rather as a terrible reflection on how she had lost her dad.
‘Look! Look!’ Jago yelled, pointing towards the horizon. Instantly satisfied it was not a crisis, that neither he nor Maudie were in trouble, she held her salt-water-wrinkled palm over her eyebrows and stared ahead.
A sharp intake of breath and her mouth stayed open, entirely rapt by the sight that greeted her, followed by Maudie and Jago’s excited yelps and chatter.
There was one, two, three, four!Four!Four dolphins breaching the water in a glorious arc, the colour of slippery wet grey beach slate. Droplets of seawater, each one a tiny prism, fell from their glistening bodies as they leapt and re-entered the water with such agility she felt like a cumbersome thing in their ocean. She’d seen dolphins around the coast before, of course, but this display, this welcome so close to her was a greeting on another level entirely. It was a gift. The very best gift on this, her special day, and her tears gathered at the pure privilege of it. Surely something of this beauty and magnitude on today of all days was a sign!
As Tawrie felt the ripples of their breach and re-entry surround her, she knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime moment, one that she’dremember forever, and she was thankful that Maudie and Jago were part of it, knowing how special it was for them too. A reward of sorts for taking to the water every day and gratefully sharing this space with these beautiful creatures in the place that was their home.
‘I can’t believe it! I just can’t believe it! What a thing! What an incredible thing!’ Jago shouted, making his way over to his wife. Tawrie watched as the two embraced like hand-holding otters, and a lump rose in her throat.
‘Thank you, Daddy,’ she whispered, letting the water lap over her shoulders.Thank you ...
Connie was washing her car on the cobbles on the quayside with a bucket of water by her side.
‘Car washing? What’s the point of having Sonny and washing your own car?’ she laughed, masking the flutter of nerves in her chest. She had worked at the café for nearly ten years; this was not going to be easy.
‘Have you met the kid? He goes to school in odd shoes, how could I trust him with this beauty?’ Her cousin ran her hand over the shiny paintwork of her beloved van. ‘Anyway, happy birthday, Taw!’
‘Aww, thanks!’
