Connie shook her head and looked out over the water, clearly thinking about the man she’d been at school with, his family local like hers. They were married and divorced within ten yearsof leaving school. And shared the care of their eight-year-old boy Sonny, whom they adored equally.
‘Not really. I mean I loved him, still do in a way, probably always will, but what you’re describing? Nope. For us there was nobam, more like we drifted into our relationship. There was no moment of impact, but then neither was there a sharp fall when it ended. It was tame, easy, nice, just not enough. Not enough for either of us. And I’m happy he’s with Lena, she’s good for him and is great with Sonny.’
There was a beat of silence while this settled.
‘It can’t be real, though, can it, Con, this crazy storm that’s raging inside me? It has to just be a silly thing that will come to nothing. I’ll get to know him, find out he’s a psycho or a moron or boring and that’ll be that, right?’
‘Yes, probably.’
‘Thank you for helping set my expectations.’ She nudged her cousin.
‘You did ask! And for the record, I’d like nothing more than for you to find someone who makes you feel this way. I want it all for you, Taw: the bells, the whistles, all of it.’
Tawrie felt a surge of emotion in her throat, thinking two things: first, how comforting to hear this was how her cousin felt; and second, if and when she did find someone, how sad it was that her dad wouldn’t be here to witness it.
‘But a tourist whose life is elsewhere? That’s also not enough, not for you. I mean, I’m not saying don’t have fun – do! Have lots of it! But don’t let him in.’ Connie placed her hand over her heart. ‘Don’t let him get to your heart.’
‘I won’t.’ She hoped it was a promise she could keep as she tried to ignore the flame of joy that roared in her chest whenever she thought of him.
A car beeped its low, loud horn behind them and they both jumped. She turned to see her Uncle Sten pull up in his shiny double cab pick-up with the windows rolled down.
‘’Ark at you two lazy wenches! Sunbathing instead of runnin’ that café! Place could go up in smoke, but as you two’ve got a decent suntan, s’pose that’s all that matters!’
‘Give it a rest, Dad, we’ve only been out here five minutes!’ Connie yelled their defence.
‘That’s what I always say when I get caught napping on the job!’ He laughed. ‘Anyways, I’ve just seen Needle, he says do you want to—’
‘No, I bloody don’t!’ Connie shot him down. Sten laughed heartily.
As they stood, Connie took her arm and held her eyeline. ‘I want you to have a great summer, Taw, but be warned, if any wanker-named blow-in causes you a moment of grief, I’ll bash his face in, got it?’
‘Got it.’ She laughed, peering along the quayside in case Edgar should pop up. ‘But I don’t think I need to be worried; he seems ...’
‘Oh Taw, give it a rest, they all seem ... until they’re not!’
‘I dropped my knickers.’ She stared into the middle distance as she recounted the event.
‘Jesus, love! Fast work! I don’t know whether to be horrified or impressed!’ Connie’s mouth was open.
‘No, not like that! I mean literally, they fell out of my hand and he just ... he made it okay.’
‘Oh my God! Areyouthe stalker?’ Connie gasped.
Tawrie fell into her as they laughed. It was a moment of welcome silliness as they made their way back to the café while her Uncle Sten checked his teeth in the rear-view mirror of his cab, no doubt wanting to look his best for Gaynor. Hisfriend.
CHAPTER SIX
HARRIETSTRATTON
JULY2002
Harriet did her best to control her anxiety as she made a pot of tea, letting the bags steep in the hot water, stirring gently and slowly inside her dotty Emma Bridgewater teapot until she was satisfied by the colour. Her pace was deliberate, not only putting off the conversation that awaited, but also a task she took pleasure in, a ritual that she hoped might abate the flurry of nerves in her gut. Next, she poured the tea into two generous mugs and handed one to Hugo, who had taken a seat at the scrubbed farmhouse kitchen table.
‘Thanks. I feel’ – he drew breath – ‘a bit nervous.’ His tone confirming this feeling was as alien to him as it was for her.
‘Me too.’
They both gave an awkward laugh as she sat opposite. The tea was too hot but she sipped anyway, grateful for the prop.
