‘Gotcha.’ He nodded and took a deep breath in through his mouth and out through his nose.
‘Just take me home.’ It was her favourite place in the whole wide world, their little house in Swallow Drive, where they had chosen everything in it together – the paint colours, the sofa, the bed linen – and it was where she liked to be. ‘All I want right now is a warm bath and a cup of tea and then if things start moving, we can go to the hospital. Is that okay?’ She tried to erase the flicker of nerves at the thought of what lay ahead. Keeping calm for Georgie was one thing but the prospect of giving birth thrilled and petrified her in equal measure.
‘Of course, it’s okay. I’m excited but shitting myself as well.’
‘I know that feeling.’ She laughed.
‘I love you,’ he told her for the millionth time that day.
‘And I love you.’
‘Do you think we should call your mum or Jules? Do you want them with you?’ He drove with increasing caution, slow enough to irritate whoever was behind them. And it made her smile, as if he was aware more than ever of the precious cargo they carried.
‘No, I don’t want you to call anyone. I only need you with me, only want you with me.’
He nodded, his eyes firmly on the road. ‘I want to make this the best for you that it can possibly be and so at any point, whateveryou need or whoever you need, you just let me know and I will do all I can to make it happen. I love you, Cleo.’
‘And I love you.’ She felt the familiar flush of warmth at the words and chuckled, wondering if he was aware of how, when nervous, he told her this on repeat ...
What she and Georgie shared was special and rare. Having seen her parents’ marriage up close, where they filled any holes with wine, laughter and cake, and Lawrence and Julie’s too, where their smiles were sometimes a little too fixed and their interactions a little stilted, she understood that the friendship and mutual admiration she and Georgie shared was a precious thing.
Images of the evening just past filled her mind. She’d seen Lawrence hand Daisy Harrop a wad of cash for a tip. It was typical of him, making a big splash, going overboard so it all became about him. It bothered her on so many levels, not least when they were saving every penny for this baby to have the very best start, when a handful of cash like that, which might have been small fry to him, would have made the biggest difference to her and Georgie. It wasn’t that she was jealous – she didn’t begrudge Daisy a penny, she was a sweet girl, who Cleo knew didn’t have the easiest of times at home – but it was more that his whole easy come, easy go attitude to money irritated her when she and Georgie worked so hard for so much less. Was that jealousy? She hoped not.
‘Can’t we just keep driving, Georgie ... can’t we go far, far away from them all? Change our names and live a quiet life on the coast, just the three of us ... We could go to Ilfracombe, paddle in the sea when the sun shone and gather shells on the beach at dusk. We’d have picnics in the cove and grow sunflowers in our garden.’ She let the image form in her mind.
It felt tempting, the idyllic life away from the noise of her family, away from the pressure she felt to show up and fit in when her mother put out the call, knowing that no matter how often she wason time, how many times she gave them lifts, whatever gift she got them, she would only ever come a close second to Lawrence. She looked across at her husband’s handsome face in the orangey glow of the streetlamps, the man who always put her first, knowing she needed no more than him and their soon-to-arrive baby.
‘If it made you happy, I’d go anywhere.’ His tone told her he wasn’t joking.
‘Seriously?’ She felt the excited bloom of anticipation at the prospect of starting over somewhere new without the weight of Kelleway expectation dragging her down ... ‘Can you imagine, a life without Mum shouting and force-feeding us bloody cheese. Evenings out without Lawrence rubbing his success in our faces at every opportunity. And don’t get me started on the way he teases you ...’ It angered her as much now as it always had. She felt the flare of irritation in her veins, but also the comforting thought that escape might be possible.
‘He doesn’t mean it.’ Georgie, her sweet, sweet man, who now made the familiar excuse for his friend. ‘It’s always been that way. I remember when he was playing football and all the boys in our year wanted to be his mate – literally everyone. It was like he was already famous. And then when he injured himself and couldn’t play anymore, they all dropped away one by one and I was the last one standing.’
‘And yet instead of thanking you for still being there, he treats you like shite.’
Georgie narrowed his eyes, as if her words wounded and she wished she could rephrase them; the last thing in the world she wanted was to upset her guy.
‘Can you imagine what it was like for him?’ He licked his top lip. ‘He was golden. He had it all. He believed all the hype, he listened to what his coaches and teachers told him lay ahead, and he was ready for it. He could see the future they painted for him ...And then he was nothing, not even a contender. It was all gone in the very second he heard that snap. All of it taken away from him in a heartbeat. He was only a kid. So, yes, he might have a dig at me, but there’s two things to remember: first, he does it because he doesn’t know how to be any different, doesn’t know how else to express his affection, so he does it by teasing me. It’s a legacy of the walls he felt he had to build.’
She didn’t believe this for a second, but loved so much that Georgie was the kind of person who did. ‘And the second thing?’
‘The second thing is that he can call me what he likes, he can treat me how he likes – I couldn’t care less because he introduced me to you. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here now with you, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and the sexiest.’ He nodded at this truth. ‘And so I forgive him the whole world because he gave me mine.’
She felt the threat of tears at the back of her nose; it must be all those pregnancy hormones throwing her off course.
‘And I thought Dad was going to be awarded Speech of the Night.’
‘I mean it, Cleo. Loz struggles in his own way, but I get him. And if you think about it, he could be off mixing with millionaires, people who shop in Waitrose and who like golf and boats like he does, but he doesn’t; he hangs around with us. He’s my mate, no matter what. He’d die for our family and he’s my best friend. What he needs is kindness and understanding.’
‘If you say so.’ She had never really shared the same closeness to her brother that Georgie had.
‘I do.’ Again he reached for her leg, and she knew it was pointless to debate further on the topic.
‘Do you really think I’m the sexiest woman you’ve ever seen?’ She ran her fingernail up and down his arm.
‘I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it was true.’
‘It’s just that I might have heard that sex can hurry things along in situations like this.’ She giggled.
