“Why do you think that is?”
I cast him a long look. “Are we really pretending you don’t know every detail of my life?”
Kevin doesn’t withdraw at my scathing tone. “I want to hear it from you.”
Putting this off and avoiding his questions is proving more and more difficult. Plus, it will only get back to Marcus and the fire chief. Ergo, I’m found to be resistant and never return to field duties. Or my job.
There’s also another reason for the deterioration of my resolve—or two. Harriet knows about my suspension, and she didn’t bat an eyelid, asking howIwas instead. She continues to shock the hell out of me and chips away at my defenses. Since we reunited at Ben’s wedding, I’ve desperately tried to be the man she met at the fair: easygoing, free of trauma. The façade is slipping, and the more time we spend together, the more uncomfortable and ill-fitting my usual mask feels.
Marcus’s lecture from two days ago sits heavy on my shoulders. He’s right. The last thing I want to do is dump my morbid past on her already overflowing plate, but maybe working with Kevin can help me open up to her. Maybe I want to open to her, even if the idea scares me half to death.
“I don’t blame them for how they reacted,” I say coolly. “After the…incident, I wasn’t the same. Even after the months I spent on my recovery and seeing therapists, the past continued to impact my work.”
Another head tilt.
A minute passes.
“I had to leave. Staying there wasn’t helping me get better. If anything, it was killing me. I’d already spent three years pretending the memories there weren’t slowly eating away at my soul.”
“What memories kept you there?”
My eyes fall to my clenched fists, knuckles white, accentuating the small scars. “Memories of where I met Alison. My wife.”
THIRTY-ONE
Harriet: You won’t believe it.
Warren: What? Is everything okay?
Harriet: Sorry, everything is fine with the baby.
Harriet: I’ve been invited to meet with two publishers in the city. On Friday!
Warren: Holy shit, that’s amazing. How are you feeling?
Harriet: In denial. Excited. Nauseous.
Warren: All normal reactions. You’ll nail it.
Warren: *selfie with a carrot*
Warren: Almost thesize of my head.
Harriet: Wait until it’s as big as a watermelon.
Harriet: You’re handsome when you smile.
Harriet: Sorry, that was weird.
Warren: You give me something to smile about.
*delete*
Warren: Thank you.
Warren: I can come by tomorrow and put up those shelves if you’re free?
Harriet: Tomorrow is perfect. Do you want to stay for dinner?
