“But?”
He sighs, a puff of breath appearing in the cold air. “ButI don’t know if that’s in the cards for me.”
“Says who?”
“Look at my life, Mars. I’m from a small town no one’s ever heard of, I’m a college dropout, and my family has no money for me to fall back on if I go out into the world and fail.”
“Why do you think that you’re going to fail?”
He starts to speak but cuts himself off with an aggravated sigh as he scuffs the toe of his sneaker against the ground. Finally, he straightens his shoulders and looks me in the eye.“You’re moving here after graduation, aren’t you?” It’s not an accusation, exactly, but somehow it feels like one.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I say, tasting the lie for what it is. I hadn’t fully admitted it to myself yet, but I think a part of me knew that I’d be moving here ever since I booked my plane ticket.
“Yeah, you have. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Yeah, I have,” I admit.
West nods, and I suddenly understand what he meant earlier about wasted time. He thinks moving to New York means the end of us. I step toward him and wrap my arms around his neck. He eyes me warily, but I hold his gaze steadily until his expression softens, and he snakes his own arm around my waist and pulls me tight against him. He closes his eyes and presses his lips to my temple.
My heart plays a staccato rhythm in my chest. “I’m in love with you, in case you didn’t know.”
I feel his nerves as he swallows. “That’s convenient, given the tattoos. I’ve heard they’re a bitch to remove.”
I make a noise of protest and try to pull out of his arms. He cinches them tighter and tilts my chin until my eyes meet his. His expression is soft, if a little scared. “It’s also convenient because I’m wildly in love with you, and I’d rather not return to my emo phase.”
My heart explodes. I nearly laugh. I’msohappy.
He kisses me. It’s slow until it’s not, tender until the heat of our argument turns it into a deep, hard kiss that leaves us both blinking stars out of our eyes at the end of it.
I swallow, steeling myself for a moment of bravery. “I want you to move here with me.”
“What would I do in New York?” he asks wryly, a smile playing at the corner of his lips.
“Hang out with me.”
He raises his eyebrows and runs his hand down my back, tucking it into my jeans pocket, giving my ass a squeeze. “How will that pay rent?”
“I don’t know,” I say truthfully. “We’ll be baristas or servers or bartenders or whatever it takes until someone pays us to write. We’ll be poor until we’re not, and it won’t matter, because we’ll be here together. With proper coats, away from Times Square.” I tug his beanie over his eyes, which makes him laugh, and then he tries blindly to kiss me again. I laugh and squirm away as he pushes the beanie out of his eyes.
He grins at me, the planes of his face awash with affection. “Okay, Jupiter. Let’s move to New York.”
19
Present Day
Daphne knocks onmy hotel room door with Cafe Maggie coffee in one hand and a bag of croissants in the other. Against all odds, she’s wearing yesterday’s crochet project. “Would you believe me if I told you I saw a dead body on campus this morning?”
“I’m going to need the coffee.” I reach for the cup as she breezes past me and paces the room. “Start from the beginning.” It’s barely seven a.m., and I slept like shit.
“My presentation is in two hours, and I want to talk about starting your book with a strong hook.”
“And telling everyone you saw a dead body will beyourstrong hook?”
“I’ll come in a few minutes late, crying hysterically, stumble to the microphone, and yell that someone needs to call the police.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “Too much?”
“Depends, are you a good actor?” I take a sip of my drink, and my eyes widen in surprise.
“Peanut butter mocha,” Daphne says by way of explanation.“The pretty barista talked me into it. But to answer your question, I played Satine in my college’s production ofMoulin Rouge!,andI can cry on demand.”
