Chapter One
Derek
Darkness. The pain always came with the dark. Shadows lurked when the monster came for me. I screamed, feeling the pain radiate through me, paralyzing my body in fear, my mind scared but unable to see anything. I screamed louder, unable to stop myself.
I flew up in bed, taking in my surroundings. I was in my dorm room. I was safe. I wasn’t in that bad place anymore. Never again.Neveragain. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that it was over, it never truly was. Would that man find me again? The man that always haunted my dreams. Would he hurt me like he’d done in my dreams? What could stop him?Whocould stop him?
I was drenched in sweat, but that was nothing new. Maybe I should go back to my medicine, drugging myself so badly I wouldn’t dream. But I couldn’t go back to that. I needed my degree and I couldn’t function while taking the medication. I would just have to deal with little to no sleep.
The only thing that had helped had been Remi’s scent. I had no idea why, but my college roommate’s natural scent was like a balm to my soul, removing the darkness, allowing me to sleep without the nightmares creeping in. When he’d been gone for months, I’d snuck into his closet and borrowed his clothes so I could sleep, but they had sadly lost his scent.
I was back to having nightmares each night and had washed all the clothes I’d borrowed from him, waiting for the day he came and emptied out everything and a new roommate would show up, hating my guts for screaming them awake in the middle of the night.
I didn’t know what I preferred, a roommate who would no doubt hate me after just one night—but at least I wouldn’t be alone—or no roommate and loneliness.
It was hard to think after a bad nightmare, this one had been a nasty one, too. Sighing, I slid out of bed, dragging my tired and cold body into the bathroom to shower. It was a routine I’d done so often now, that I didn’t even need to open my eyes as I entered the shower and cleaned the sweat off me.
As soon as I was clean and dry, I went back in and stripped the bedding, then flipped the mattress over and pulled fresh sheets on. I would need a new mattress soon. Clean sheets didn’t wash what was underneath, but I didn’t have the money for it yet, using all my savings to develop my newest game app. The school had already bought a brand new mattress for me, and I just couldn’t ask for another one already. Thankfully, my education was paid for, so I only had to worry about food and other necessities. Ithad been my father who’d paid for my education before he died. My mom told me so when I was thirteen, assuring me I would go to college and get my dream education. I knew she’d told me the truth. She was known for spending all her money on her face, trying to make herself look younger,softer, she’d said. Even years after my father had died, she was still searching for a new husband. I knew why she’d failed so far, no amount of plastic surgery could fix my mother’s personality.
Thinking about Mom didn’t help brighten my mood, so I forced myself to think about something else. It was hard, though. I hadn’t heard from her in months, and even though I wasn’t worried, per see, I was still curious as to why… She usually made sure I was still doing well in school, always asking about my grades and not much else. She only cared about me getting a high paying education, nothing less would do. I was glad that she’d been so adamant when I was growing up that I would need to reach for great things. But now I was feeling less enthused about it. I just wanted to make apps and make a living out of that, but mother had demanded I get a degree and then a high paying job.
Well, not thinking about her clearly wasn’t working, and neither would forcing myself to sleep. Might as well get some work done and hope I wouldn’t fall asleep in my morning classes.
“He’s the only one left,” a guy behind me whispered harshly. I was in my last class of the day and we had to team up on the newest assignment. And the poor girl behind me had no one to work with other than me. I knew they thought me weird. I couldn’t always hide my “quirks” as my mother had called them. I preferred being quiet and alone. Only alone could I be myself without judgement. It was just easier, especially since I had no idea what those “quirks” were. How would I be able to reign myself in, if I had no idea what I was doing wrong?
“We’ll ask the professor if the three of us can do this together,” a girl said, likely trying to save her friend from getting anywhere near me. I preferred working alone, but still, it hurt.
“Guys,” the girl whispered sharply. “Stop meddling. I don’t mind asking him to be my partner.”
I almost choked on air. Shit… would this mean?
“Hello,” the girl greeted cheerily, now sitting right next to me and waiting eagerly for me to converse with her.
“Um. Hi,” I croaked. At least I said something. Out loud, too.
“Do you want to partner up with me?” she asked, tilting her head, almost like she was trying to figure me out.
“Um, sure,” I replied, trying to act like I didn’t care one way or the other, even with my hands getting damp and my heart beating so fast I couldn’t focus on anything else.
She beamed. “Perfect!” She leaned over and scribbled her number on my notebook, then her name.Amber. “Text me which days work for you.” I forced a smile, hoping it would look natural and effortless, even if I knew deep down it hadn’t.
Amber went back to her friends behind me who whispered harshly at whatever had just happened. Maybe I should warn her over text to find someone else. Or make her do as they’d suggested, and let the three of them do it together. She seemed too sweet to be poisoned with my company. There had to be a reason why everyone always left me alone after getting to know me. I hadn’t figured out why, yet. But I knew Amber would end up like them, leaving me alone with the question of what I’d done to make her leave.
I closed my notebook, stuffed it inside my backpack, then added my laptop and left the classroom with the other students. I needed to eat something, and then I would figure out what to text Amber.
Chapter Two
Nolen
The dullness of the garden surrounding me was nothing new, but Mom’s scowl definitely was. I’d gone to my parents’ place to tell them about tomorrow, but it was clear my mom already knew. I tried giving her my best smile, but that only seemed to deepen her frown.
Sighing, I figured it would be best to ask and not justassumeit was about my trip. “What is it, Mom?”
She smacked my arm. “What is it?!What is it?!Did you, or did you not, sign up for the portal search?!”
I opened my mouth to answer, but my father appeared behind her and shook his head. His eyes wide and fearful. Mom caught me staring behind her, and she whirled on my father instead, aiming her anger at him. Letting my shoulders slump a little, I was grateful to get a few seconds to breathe. Mom could be a scary thing, even if she meant well.
“Darling,” Dad began, but she silenced him with a raised finger.
