I rolled my eyes. “Because you refused to sleep with her. That’s hardly reason enough for her to ditch your centuries long friendship, right?”
“Again, I have no idea. We have never been truly close. I thought I knew her well enough, but the potion proved that to be a lie. Even Peter had seemed surprised by her anger. You sure it was only a truth potion?”
I bit my lip. “Well….”
He sighed. “Come on, out with it.”
“I may have added a bit of cherry stem, making her more… engaging.”
“Engaging?”
“More prone to argue, or as I had hoped, more loosely lipped.”
“You not only forced the truth out of her, you also added something to ensure she would talk?”
“Precisely,” I beamed, glad he understood.
“This is not something to be proud of, Felix! You just keep telling me things that make this worse!”
Oh. “That’s not fair! If you kept us informed, we wouldn’t have had to do it behind your backs!” We were both standing now, back to arguing, all the while Peter and Giro were having fun.
“Is this really because of that?!” He snapped. “Or is this argument because of something else?”
“I—” I stopped. “Did you by any chance drink from the same bottle?”
“No, I drank from the one on the left. Please do not tell me they were both messed with?”
“No, just the one. I, um.” How could I tell him the truth? That Reminia flirting with him had made me irrationally jealous, and himnot laying a claim on me outright had hurt my feelings. He’d just introduced us by name and what we were, I was Felix, a male witch, not Severin’s fated. It wasn’t until she started digging at him that he let his claim on me known, and only that I was his, not that I was his fated. And here I selfishly hoped he’d had a sip of the wine, just so I knew he would answer me truthfully if I did tell him my insecurities. How fucked up was that? I was feeling my morals shift, and I didn’t like it. Didn’t like what the coven had done to my previous naïve and goodhearted nature. I’d seen a man die and hadn’t even flinched. I was changing, and I wasn’t sure if I liked the new person I was turning into.
“What?” he asked, his patience waning.
“Reminia!” I snapped, getting angry at myself and him at the same time. I knew this wasn’t logical, this was just human instincts and feelings. And I felt hurt and confused, sad and guilty. I’d fucked up, and I hated that Sev had to be the one to tell me just how badly.
He threw his hands up again. “What about her now?”
I couldn’t keep the anger going, it had left me, leaving me slumping in on myself as I admitted defeat, letting my feelings change from anger to hurt, then sadness. I felt my eyes tear up and looked at him. “You introduced me as Felix, a male witch. I’mmorethan that.”
He softened his expression, then muttered a curse before crushing me into a hug. “I did not want to introduce you as mine like that. I had planned for it to be a joyous revelation, but it did not turn out like I had planned.”
“I thought she knew I was yours before she came here. Knowing I was just introduced to her today hurt me. I know my feelings are messy and there’s so much shit going on and here I am weeping that a vampire flirted with you and I felt forgotten.”
His hand caressed my back soothingly as he continued to hold me. “You are the most important person to me, my heart. I am sorry for making you feel lesser than.” He sighed. “Having another vampire here was making me anxious, even though I did trust Reminia not to hurt you, I was still inviting another predator inside.”
Feeling like Sev could see through me already, I admitted the last part that had me reeling. “I feel like I don’t recognize myself anymore, Sev. What kind of man was I even before we met? I don’t remember him. With everything that has happened, I feel like I’ve lost myself. Now I fear you’ll come to dislike the man I’m turning into, too. And that’s not fair to you, I know that. But I’m… afraid.”
“That I will grow to dislike you, or are you afraid of changing further?” he questioned, stepping back so he could look me in the eye.
“Both,” I admitted, looking down at the floor, too much of a coward to meet his gaze.
“You will always change, my heart. I have.” His tone was calm and full of understanding. “I was once a human man, living in a town my family ruled over and protected. I was a hunter and a warrior. If you look at me now, it might be hard to imagine me swinging an axe and wearing fur to keep warm in the winter months. But I was that man.Was. Then I turned into a vampire and changed into someone new. Yes, I was still Severin, the chieftain’s grandson. But I was no longer the same, in here.” He placed a hand over his heart.
Letting my tears fall, I felt his words sink in. I’d carried these worries by myself for a while now in secret, and it wasn’t until today I’d realized just how badly this had turned. I’d spiked a wine with truth potion, and I hadn’t felt bad about it. Not until Sev pointed out just how wrong that had been of me.
“Maybe you can help me become the best version of me?” I asked hopefully.
He smiled at me. “And you can do the same for me. We will always change, but after meeting you, I feel like I will only become a better man. More protective, yes. And at times foolish, too. If my instincts to protect you continue as they are, which I know they will, then I will, without a doubt, do something to annoy you or others in the future.” He shrugged. “I am aware of the fact that I am a vampire and we tend to get possessive over things we love. I do not care how others think of me if it means you are protected and safe.”
“This is all just a mess, isn’t it?” I murmured, grabbing him close so I could feel his strong arms around me again.
