“Guys…theywouldn’tjust come take our memories, would they?” Cook said, a dumbfounded smile on his face. “I mean, that’s illegal. It would be…”
“Everythingthat goes on here is illegal in the rest of the realm,” Silas said. “There’s a very good chance they’d extract our memories of each other if they knew.”
“Nobody is allowed to say a single word about it,” March said. “I want to know what memories I gave. I want to remember.” He looked at me. “You can tell me mine, and I can tell you yours.”
I nodded. “Yes.” I wanted to know what I lost, too. I had to—those weremymemories.
“A hundred percent,” Reggie said. “We won’t say a word about this.” And he sat on the ground. “C’mon, then. Sit down. Let’s tell each other what we know.”
So, we did.
A few of the others weren’t entirely certain that they wanted to keep this secret, I thought. The Diamonds, all three of them—and Mimi looked confused, too. But I did believe March and Silas. I did believe that they’d take the memories away if keeping them really wasn’t allowed.
It was best if Calren and the queens and everyone else didn’t know at all.
We were all sitting close to the people we’d exchanged masks with at the masquerade. Mimi and Cook. Seth and Erith. Anika and Helen. Reggie and Silas. Levana and Russ. Me and March.
“Tell me,” he said when the others began to whisper. “What did I lose?”
“Glass,” I said, dragging myself a little closer. They were right to whisper—these memories were private. I didn’t want everyone to know mine, either. Not untilIknew what I’d given up, at least. “You were in this workshop, and there was a furnace, a big fire burning in it. It smelled of ashes, and it was really hot, and you had this rod in your hands. You spun it around, and there was molten glass on the other end of it, basically in the fire,” I said as the memory replayed in the center of my mind like a projection. Like a memory of my own.
March listened intently, absorbed every word I said, his eyes glazed over as he tried to remember but couldn’t. The memory wasn’t in his mind anymore—it was in mine.
“You were happy,” I said. “You were so proud.”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I love working with glass. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.”
Suddenly I could almostseelittle March in my mind, in awe of what he saw, and my smile was automatic. “I felt it.”
He sighed deeply, but it wasn’t relief. “And the other? I had one good memory and one bad.” He licked his lips and I tried not to flinch. “What was the other?”
My smile was gone. Now I felt like I was sitting on needles. “The other was…in a kitchen,” I started, and my heart beat like a drum already. I’d rather not tell him that at all, but how could I keep it to myself?
“A kitchen?”
I nodded. Swallowed hard. “Red-and-white tiles and cupboards. And…and…” That muffled scream was there, filling my ears, and my lips moved but my voice was stuck still.
“And?” March urged.
“And there was a scream.” I closed my eyes—it would be easier if I didn’t see his face, I thought. “Other people were there, but I didn’t see them—you were focused on the man. The…the…the man who was shouting.”
“What man?” Except this time his voice was more hushed, like he already knew.
“I don’t know. He looked like you. Older. Taller. He…he was shouting something and then he grabbed a knife and you raised your arm and…”
My throat burned. The words begged to remain inside my mouth. My hands shook when I reached out for his left arm, and pulled up the sleeve of his red shirt. Tears pricked the back of my eyes when I touched the scar half hidden by the hair of his forearm, then turned it over to see theotherscar just below his elbow, where the knife had gone through first before coming out on the other side.
The scar tissue was old, pale, less than two inches long, but it was there.
“March.” He was looking down at his arm, and it wasclear to see he was in shock as he ran his fingers over the scar tissue, one then the other.
“I…remember seeing these before, but I don’t know how I got them. I forgot they were there.”
My heart broke into a million pieces.
I’m sorry,I thought, but couldn’t say it. I just pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them and gave him as long as he needed to get himself together.
The others whispered.
