You were just going to run away and let the curse sweep up all of our time, kill everyone in the realm because you can’t be bothered to care?Those had been his exact words—I remembered them all too clearly.
No, I didn’t want tokill everyone. I just wanted to go back home to my parents. To Jinx’s things. To the lake. To my friends.
But if I left without unwinning these trials, would I have a home to go back to, or parents, or Jinx’s things, or a lake, or friends?
What if the Great Clock didn’t start moving soon, and what if the trials never got unwon? Would it remain stuck, or would it go backward, or would it fall out of order like the Timekeepers had always claimed it would?
The end of the world.What a strange concept.
There is no end to time, and therefore there is no ending ever—that was the idea we grew up knowing—unless the Great Clock no longer kept our realm’s time in order. Unless it no longer ironed out the hours and the minutes and the seconds for us to use.
So, how was I going to try to find a way out of the Labyrinth, if walking away could potentially cause the end of the Clockrealm?
“Welcome to the training arena, Hands!”
Elida’s voice snuck in my ears and got my attention. I blinked and realized that we had indeed made it to our destination. We’d never come out of the palace like I thought we would when they saidtraining arena,and the reason why was because the arena was half inside the palace building, and half under the open sky.
I stepped onto the stone platform, my mind clear of thoughts until I took in my surroundings. It wasn’t grand or pristine like most things in the palace were, but it looked very…functional. The floor was a patchwork of materials: sections of smooth stone, rough grit, and metal plates bolted together. Pillars of varying heights held up the ceiling. Some were wrapped in padded cloth for grappling while others gleamed with metal edges that looked deadly all on their own.
Steel beams crossed overhead, the early afternoon sunlight slipping in through the gaps they made, probably intentional. It made the arena feel both indoors and outdoors, trapped and exposed at the same time.
Walls of reinforced glass on three sides, and on the last, racks of weapons were arranged with eerie precision. The blades gleamed, so polished they could be used as mirrors. The scent of oil and chalk andbloodwas in the air, though faint, but the memories that jumped to the center of my mind blinded me for a second. Those teeth and that grass, all the blood I’d been covered in.
I almost didn’t recognize you without all the blood.
The words popped into my head uninvited, just like the Cheshire had come to that forest. Hadn’t he said that he could only live backward, that glitches were his home since Time had cast him out for whatever reason?
So then how had he seen me covered in blood—something that supposedly happened in the forward,normalTurning Trials?
Or had I imagined the whole thing?
Little by little, it felt to me like my sanity was slipping through cracks in my skull. I was losing myself, my own memories, and I was currently a stranger to me just like all the other Hands. I knew me but I didn’t.
They knew me, too—or thought they did, and so when it came to picking partners for sparring, nobody wanted to pick me.
Mimi paired with Helen. Anika paired with Erith. Levana crossed her arms and turned her head away—which would translate to roughly:never-ever-reven will I go anywhere close to you.
Fair enough. I didn’t want to go close to her, either.
Elida said something to her, and they were arguing, it was plain to see, and March’s eyes were on me from the mats. He was paired with Russ, and Cook was paired with Seth. I refused to even look their way, and I refused to acknowledge Elida, who was trying to talkthe othergirls into pairing with me now, too.
Time’s Teeth, I couldn’t stand it.
So, before our trainer—whoever he was—came to find us, I went to the wall of weapons. They didn’t want to spar with me, and I didn’t want to spar with them. Perfectly fine. I was better on my own, anyhour.
Yet as I analyzed the weapons, and pretended I couldn’t hear Elida calling my name, there was an overwhelming need to cry until my eyes were too swollen to see the world anymore.
Of course, I didn’t give in to the silly urge. Instead, I chose two large knives with strange wide blades that were engraved withVs andIs all around the edges for some reason. With them, I walked outside.
The arena opened into a wide training yard bordered by tall cedar trees. The space had looked simple from the inside, but the longer I studied it, the more I noticed the structures designed for practice. It was all mechanical, just like that garden on the other side, like if I stripped anything away, I’d find a mess of hidden gears underground, steaming as they worked.
A line of wooden posts stood at staggered distances near a narrow balance beam stretched between two sturdy poles, swaying slightly with the slow breeze. A little farther off, hanging ropes and rings dangled from a crossbar constructed between two large trees. Father had told me about them, about exercises to strengthen one’s grip, but I’d never actually seen one made exactly for it. This must have been built by whoever designed the training programs forthe queens’ soldiers, because it looked so sophisticated. So…advanced. Not at all fit for someone with my level of skill.
Which was exactly why my heart was beating like a drum, and I’d already forgotten that there was someone in there, that someone could see me.
Jinx used to say that when our heart slams against our ribcage when we’re scared and excited, it’s actually an applause. Our hearts are applauding us for our courage and urging us to keep moving—and for the first time, that’s what I thought about as I went farther and farther outside. My heart was applauding for all this equipment I was going to try—and fail at, probably, at first.
The air smelled like pine and earth out here, which was infinitely better than oil. It was oddly quiet, too, and every step I took was loud. I was no longer on the brink of tears nor thinking about thewhyof it. This was exactly what I’d needed: space and weapons and pieces of wood to fight against.
