Mimi’s voice trailed off for the third time now. She couldn’t seem to be able to finish that question.
We all did in our minds, though.Do you guys remember?
Nobody said it because nobody wanted to answer. Because the answer wasyes—we all remembered.
Then we didn’t.
“It’s real,” Russ said after a minute, elbows against his knees, his fingers pressed together like he was trying to stretch them out of his skin as he looked at the floor. He’d barely moved for the past thirty minutes.
They’d put us here—in alounge roomthe maid had called it—with chairs and velvet seats scattered about, and windows that showed us the sun as it traveled backward across the sky to unrise once more. There was an empty wall there, too, where you could clearly make out the marks of whatever had been hanging on it for possibly a long time. The outline of a lot of squares was painted by time with a slightly yellow color on the otherwise white wall—picture frames, or paintings?
If so, why would anybody bother removing them? There seemed to have been quite a lot. Judging by the nails sticking out every few inches, the whole wall had been covered in frames.
There was tea on the low tables, too, but I was pretty sure I was never going to drink tea again, ever in my life. Nobody had touched a single cup or pot. Nobody had moved from their places yet.
“It’s…it’s real. Not just part of the trials. We really are going backward,” Russ finally finished his thought.
Yes, I’d figured as much while we were still in the game, in that forest. All of this was really real. We weren’t being tricked. We weren’t being fooled. We were most definitely not dreaming.
Shivers rushed down the length of me.
“Reggie is gone,” said Seth, who sat on the floor on the other side of the seat, back against the leg of it.
“A host.What…what…why?”Mimi whispered.
“I knew,” said Helen from the other side of the room. “Iknew why.”
And so had I. So had everyone for that second when the game was declared unwon. We’d remembered.
Someone moved, stood up. March, from where he’d been sitting with Levana on the last seat made of dark red velvet. He stood up and he took a step, and another—all of them inmydirection. I was sitting on a gray-colored seat all by myself. I’d gone to the end of the room for this very reason—to sit by myself.
Then he came and sat with me.
Nobody reacted. That’s the only reassurance I had that they hadn’t heard the beating of my heart—or the beats it skipped in the first ten seconds.
Irritating—shouldn’t it be? Because it wasn’t. My mind calmed down. My anxiety eased. Like my body knew his and felt safe when he was near.
Such a curious thing, instinct. Such apowerfulthing, too. I never knew until I had to force myself to sit still andnotdrag myself closer to see if he felt even better from closer up.
“We all remembered, right?” Cook finally whispered, and his eyes found mine. I don’t know why he always looked at me. “We all rememberedforward.”
Heads bobbed like they were following some silent beat, mine included.
“They killed him. They killed Reggie,” Mimi whispered. Out of all of us, she seemed to have the most trouble getting herself together. She was still crying, her brown cheeks constantly wet, her eyes bloodshot, the curls of her dark hair spilling all over her head.
“The game was owed a host,” said Anika. She sat withErith, their hands linked still, like they drew strength from one another.
“And it took one. It took Reggie,” said Erith.
“Why Reggie? Whyhim?” Mimi asked, her voice louder, shaking.
“We knew,” was all anyone could tell her.
But we didn’t know anymore.
Others began to talk then. Some in whispers, some out loud. They went through what we’d done in that forest, the tea party and the clockbeasts, like they were trying to understand what had happened better. They shouldn’t have bothered. There was no understanding things backward. We’d unwon, and that was enough for now. If they were smart, they’d be looking for ways to get away from this place.
“You’re in my head.”
