The queen didn’t turn her head a second time.
She looked flawless again, with her hair in the same style, moving as if it were a single piece and not hair at all, white as snow. Her dress was white and silver, as if the edges were made of glass, and she still moved her hands about just slightly, which made me wonder if she was maybe a Club before she was crowned queen. Such information wasn’t public knowledge, was it? Or maybe I hadn’t paid attention since the current queens had been queens ever since I could remember. She seemed to be always moving, even when she told us to stop fidgeting.
“I don’t feel so good…”
This from Erith standing somewhere to my right. I looked—we all did, but my eyes first found March who stood at the front of the line, shoulders wide, hands fisted tightly, eyes on me.
Why are you always watching me?I wondered.Who are you?
Erith was pale enough that the color of her skin resembled the hair of the White Queen. Her wide dark eyes were consumed with the fear we all felt charging our bodies like jolts of electricity.
“I don’t…I don’t…”
“Breathe, Erith,” said Anika from her side. Russ, who stood between her and me, kept his eyes forward and tried his best to pretend hewasn’tas afraid as the rest of us. He wasn’t shaking. He believed we would win, that this was all part of the game. It was only the trials.
And what didIbelieve?
“I can’t do it,” Erith insisted. “I can’t…I can’t do it. I don’t know where I am and how I got here, and I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m not prepared—I’m not!”
I wasn’t prepared, either.
I didn’t know where I was or how I got here, either.
That’swhat I believed in. Reality as I was witnessing it.
Breathe, Ora,I told myself when Anika repeated the same to Erith. I breathed and I tried to distract myself with our surroundings, even tried to pretend, like Russ was doing.
Meanwhile Cook was next to me, the only other Spade here, and his shouldervibratedagainst mine.
The Great Clock loomed over us, as big as a small sun, stuck still at eight-thirteen.
The whole realm is in panic,Levana’s maid had told her. I was in panic, too.
A broken clock meant no time.
A brokenGreat Clockmeant no Clockrealm.
Being terrified of that thought right now was almost funny to me because, up until I woke up at a table with theWhite Queen, I’d been certain death didn’t frighten me. I’d been certain that I welcomed it with arms wide open.
But when I pictured death, I pictured it to be…quiet. Peaceful, yet dark and alluring—even soothing.
This was anything but.
The sky was dark but there were so many lights from fires and lanterns burning everywhere around us that we saw everything in detail. We saw the railings, and the tiered seats of the arena filled with people in the distance, and the large projections of the four court emblems on either side.
Maybe the arena went all around, but we couldn’t see the sides of it from down here because the trees of the forest in front of us were large. Dark. Whispering.
“My little ticker—keep your head up and remember: you must only unwin. There is no reason to be afraid.” The White Queen was in front of Erith in a blink, her handalmosttouching her cheek, but instead she only traced the shape of her face with her fingers in the air. Like she was trying to memorize it.
“If you could tell us, Your Excellency. If you could tell us how we won,” said Anika from her side. “That would make it easier for all of us, wouldn’t it?”
The queen didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, I’m afraid we can’t do that.”
“Why not? If we fail, we all—” This from Levana, but the queen cut her off.
“You willnotfail, little ticker. That is not an option,” she said, her voice suddenly as cold and as sharp as a shard. “And you forget—I cannot tell you because I cannot remember. Nobody does. The counter-curse I cast has wipedallthe memories of the forward trials.”
“I thought it was the curse.” Sneaky words, slipping out of me all on their own.
