“I…I…”
That’s it.I-I—that’s all I could say.
Because I didn’treallyknow if we met anywhere. I didn’t really know where Mimi had been.
I should have, but I didn’t.
I didn’t know.
Big tears slid down her dark cheeks like crystals, catching the light from my room. My heart broke into a million pieces.
“Mimi,” I said again, but her name wasn’t a question now. It was a pleading.
Please, please, please…what?!
“We’re…we’re forgetting,” Mimi whispered, and those words settled on my shoulders like two mountains.
Then she turned and she ran, up the hallway, turning the corner so fast I had yet to take the next breath by the time she disappeared from my sight.
That’s where I stayed for a long time, in front of the open door, staring at the hallway outside, thinking. Trying. Holding onto threads that kept slipping through my fingers.
We’re forgetting,Mimi said.
You’re not done forgetting yet,Calren said.
And my mind was near blank.
That’s when I ran, too—out the door and to the one right next to mine. I knocked and slammed my fists onto the wood over and over, but I didn’t think I was crying. I couldn’t—I was in shock, but I still needed to see March. I still needed to talk to him because my mind was so empty, so dark, so horrifying.
Eventually a door opened across the hall.
“Keep it down, Spade. He’s obviously not in his room!” Anika shouted, then slammed her door shut again.
The sound echoed up the hallway, runningfrom me.
I chased it.
44
Iran for a long time.
I wasn’t sure where I was going, only what I was searching for—March. I tried every door that was unlocked, every archway, every hallway, every floor. If March wasn’t in it, I walked out.
So far, I’d been walking out of every single place I went to.
Then I saw the maid.
Lida was her name, and I remembered it, which brought me relief, but I subconsciously ignored it. Because to acknowledge that I was relieved to remember was to also acknowledge that there had been a good chance Ihadn’tremembered at all.
I wasn’t ready for that just yet.
“March,” I said when she said my name, surprised to find me there in whichever part of the palace I may have wandered into.
“What has gotten into you? You look so pale, Miss Reese, you need to—” She put down the basket full of clothes she’dbeen carrying, and straightened up to look at me, but I cut her off.
“I need to find March, Lida. Can you tell me where he is? He’s not in his room.”
I was relieved to have known all these words to say, too, but ignored the feeling without trouble again.
