“Nostalgia,” Russ said. “I didn’t even realize I was missing it. It took me ages to guess the word.”
“My fear of spiders is back,” Mimi said, and I almost—almostlaughed. Some of the others cracked smiles.
She had to give up her fear of spiders in the forward trials. How could they not?
“Compassion,” I whispered before I could stop myself, and they all raised their heads to look at me now. Eyes wide. Lips parted.
Like they understood. Like they finally got it, just like I did. They knew exactly what had been wrong with me and why.
Now I wanted to hide away in my room and cry again until the day was done.
“Patience,” Levana said, her eyes rimmed red, like she’d spent the whole night crying. That made sense, too.
I looked at March, waiting for him to speak, to tell us what he’d lost before, what he got back.
He kept his eyes on the plate and his mouth shut.
Then the door opened and Elida walked in, that fake smile plastered all over her face, her black suit perfectly pressed, her black hat an extension of her ginger hair.
“Good morning to the best Hands the realm has ever seen! I hope you’ve rested well, my friends. You deserved it,” she said as she came, and I flinched at the word—friends.We were not friends, her and us. We were most definitely not friends with anyone in this place.
“Where is she?” asked Anika, and Elida knew just like we did who she meant.
That’s why she said through gritted teeth and through her fake smile, “In her palace—where else?”
“Helen is dead,” Erith said, and a small scream escaped Levana. Stabs at my gut—I was sofullagain that the sensation took me by surprise.
Helen was dead. Reggie was dead. Silas was dead.
Time’s Teeth, I was going to lose my damned mind.
“Yes, it was very unfortunate?—”
“Unfortunate?!”Levana cut her off, and she slowly stood up to face Elida, too.
A few of the others immediately did the same, and the Timekeeper stepped back, as if she suddenly felt threatened.
“I just mean that?—”
But Levana didn’t let her finish.
“It wasn’tunfortunate—it was the trial thatyoudesigned! It was the trial thatyouwere supposed to make safe! You’re supposed to protect us, damn it!Threeof us are already dead.”
“How many more until you stop this nonsense?” Erith demanded.
“Dowe allneed to die for you to be satisfied?” asked Russ.
“No, no, of course?—”
“Then why won’t you stop this?!” Anika shouted. “Why won’t you let us go?! There are people better equipped to unwin the last trial.”
“But it has to be you. You’re the Hands and?—”
“Wethe Hands did not sign up for this, Elida,” I said, and I sounded much calmer than I felt. “None of us signed up for backward trials. We’re being forced to stay here, forced to participate. And the White Queen isn’t even here?”
I didn’t dare tell her that we knew the Red Queen had done something to us. I didn’t dare tell her that we knew people remembered.
“I-I-I…” Elida was already at the doors. “I’ll get the queen, I’ll get the queen. Just…just—” She didn’t even finish speaking before she slipped out, lightning fast.
