Her words break my heart.
“But hey, if I’m married to the right man, I’ll be free to do what I want.” She flashed a smile. Damn, I wish I had her cavalierattitude about all this. Though maybe she donned a mask, like the most of the people in this society.
Staff wearing all black slipped in with the first course, a salad with what looked like tentacles in it. My mother wrinkled her nose, but I took a bite into one, which crunched. The taste wasn’t bad, just a little lemony due to how they’d cooked it.
“Any reason for the aquatic theme?” I asked Arielle, since she seemed the friendliest here.
Her lips twitched with a grin. “The sea is how we made our wealth, isn’t it? Orichalcum is found deep in the ocean.”
“Look how well our children are already getting along,” Frederick said, his tone booming through the room. Darla offered a wan smile, while Pearl and Olivia whispered to each other. My parents offered their normal pinched smiles, edged with a hint of desperation, because this was their last resort.
Arielle seemed resigned to her fate, but I hated the idea of marrying someone because my parents told me to. Maybe it was the romantic in me, but I’d always hoped for the all-consuming love I’d only witnessed in movies and books or on canvas—never in real life. Even the handful of relationships I’d had fizzled out fast, because once the people I’d dated realized I wasn’t interested in the social climb, they had no more use for me.
The next course was a type of fish that probably cost an obscene amount, cooked in a delicate orange sauce, along with sweet potato mash and asparagus. I focused on my food, as conversation petered out. I wanted to escape from this dinner with everything in me, just step outside for a breath of fresh air. Arielle poked around at her plate, giving the occasional sour look up at her father, which at least made me appreciate her more. Perhaps that was something we both had in common.
I’d get through this dinner, and then I’d pack my bags and leave. It was beyond time I struck out on my own. Even if I made a mess of myself out in the real world, at least I’d be free.
“What did you think of Carina’s new hats this season?” my mother asked Darla, who murmured a response.
The pressure inside me increased the longer the dinner wore on, to the point I had to swallow back a scream.
I rose from my seat. “Where are the facilities?”
“I’ll accompany you,” my father said. “They were pointed out on the way in.”
Right, because I hadn’t been paying attention. My father joining me was the last thing that would help the pressure. More likely, he’d make it pop.
I strode out the door, and my shoulders eased an inch at being out of the spotlight in the dining hall. Until footsteps followed a moment later, and my shoulders tensed all over again.
“The Triton family will make a good alliance,” my father murmured, walking in time with me.
“Why don’t you just do a business trade with them?” I asked.
“That’s what this is,” he responded, and my chest sank. No matter how often they spoke to me like I was nothing, like I was a problem, those barbs always stung. “And you’ll make your proposal tonight.”
Ice flooded my veins. No. No I fucking wouldn’t. For once, I would stand up to my parents, even if they tossed me out of the estate. I didn’t want to live there any longer anyway.
I whirled to face my father, my hands balled into fists.
He stared down at me, his brow arched, an arrogant cast to his features that seemed permanent. “We know about Jason.”
I stilled, the words dying on my tongue.
“All it would take would be a single call,” my father continued, as if he talked about the weather. “And your friend Jason would…disappear. Peregrine City’s a bit treacherous like that. So many dark corners that it’s easy to get lost.”
My shoulders squared. “You couldn’t. He’s a famous artist. You try to make him vanish, and you’ll draw far too much attention.”
My father arched his brow, his eyes dead and cold. “A monster artist. Do you truly think the people in power in this city will search for him?”
Oh gods. My eyes heated, and I clenched my jaw to force the tears back, the shame and rage overtaking me in a fierce sweep. I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known they’d been monitoring me. That no aspect of my life they could manipulate would remain a secret. I was going to be sick.
Jason didn’t deserve that. He’d offered me everything—a safe place when I needed one the most, the chance to explore art in a way I’d only dreamed of. I couldn’t put him through whatever hell my father planned on doling out. Bile rose in my throat, and I swallowed hard to keep from spewing right here.
“I’m heading back to the dining hall,” my father said, his chin lifted, a smug look on his face. Because he knew, like every other time, he’d gotten the upper hand. All because I’d been careless. All because I wore my heart on my sleeve. My father turned on his heel, and the echo of his footsteps reverberated through me.
I tugged open the ornate knob on the restroom door and made a beeline to the sink. Cold water sprayed from the faucet, and I splashed it on my face, not giving a damn if it messed up my appearance. The icy blast didn’t do much to quell the panic circulating through my veins. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
There went every plan of escape. Of leaving this hellish life behind and chasing something real. A life I truly wanted.
