Three little words rested on my tongue, ones that had become clearer and clearer through every moment we’d been together. Maybe tonight I’d be brave enough to confess what their sacrifice meant to me. The fact they’d chosen to come along…my heart thumped harder. Maybe they felt the same way.
The tender look in their eyes, how they protected my body and my heart…I’d never experienced care like that, and I imagined that was what love felt like. The true kind. The sort I’d always dreamed of but wasn’t sure I’d ever find.
“I’ll give you everything, sunshine,” they said, a gravity to their words that sent a sharp shard of longing through me. Ursuline wasn’t just steady and steadfast in a way I craved, so different from my daydreams and wandering mind. No, they were a warrior, a survivor. They’d clawed out of hell in New Atlantis and survived living with their sibling’s aggressor for years.
They’d had to remain hard and stalwart against the cruelty of the world for so long.
My heart fluttered as understanding settled inside me.
They called me sunshine.
Maybe I did have my place in this relationship, to coax the hope back out of hiding for them. To offer a softness that had never been bled out of me, no matter how much my parents wished it.
“I want you to have all of me too,” I admitted, my voice hushed in the awe of the realization. After so many years of feeling worthless, of viewing every attribute of mine as a flaw, they brought me back to life.
“I didn’t think I could have that,” Ursuline said, their voice hoarse. The quiet descended between us, and they withdrew their teasing tentacle. “I’m still not sure if I can.”
Anger flared within me that Frederick had broken them down this badly. I circled around to face them and rested my hand on their hip. “Right here and now, you do,” I said, jutting my chin forward. “For as long as we can make it. And that’s all that matters. Every moment we can get.”
Ursuline’s throat bobbed with their swallow, and they stared up, avoiding my gaze. Their eyes were glossy, and my heart squeezed tight.
“He may have ruined a lot, but he doesn’t own you,” I reasserted. “No matter what the contract says.”
“If I could find a way to keep my family safe and be free,” they said. “Fuck, if they even are safe. My entire world is flipped upside down. And I can’t rest knowing Frederick will try to sink his claws into you too. He can’t have you. He can’t. I need to stop him—no matter what,” they growled.
I ran my fingertips along their chin, my chest tight. “He can’t have you either. Do it for both of us. Do it for your family. Do it for everything he’s done to the monsters in New Atlantis.”
Because if anyone could think of a clever way out of this, Ursuline could.
My stomach rumbled, and a slight grin stretched their lips. “Well, while I’m searching for a path out of this mess, why don’t we start with breakfast?”
“I wouldn’t be sad,” I said, my heart thumping hard. “I wouldn’t mind exploring the place too.”
“Just stay out of the West Wing,” Ursuline said. “Cillian prefers his privacy, and you’d probably get too much of an eyeful of him and Beau.”
“Beau?” I asked as I slipped out of the bed. At once, I began the search for clothes in my bag and then changed into loose gray pants and a linen shirt.
“Cillian’s partner,” Ursuline said, a note of warmth in their tone. “He found him about a year ago, and I’ve never seen him happier.”
When I glanced back to them, the longing in their gaze hit me full force. Did they want that too? As badly as I did?
Ursuline tossed on a tunic, wove a comb through their hair, and then brought toiletries to the bathroom. We both made quick work of cleaning up for the day, and completing this mundane task side by side sent a silent thrill through me. Who knew this was what I’d been searching for my entire life?
Ursuline stepped out first, and I was happy to follow. This place was one of their safe havens, though I’d come to realize that even when they weren’t comfortable, they commanded a room regardless. That sort of surety and bravery drew me in every time.
“They’ll have food in the dining hall around now,” Ursuline said. “I texted Amelia that we were up, and they aren’t flooded with guests here at the moment.”
“This isn’t a hotel, though,” I said, my brows drawing together in confusion.
“No, but monsters who need help often take some time up here getting back on their feet. He’s made this place a sanctuary, a refuge.”
I blinked, surprise flooding through me. Far too often, I was reminded of the ignorance I’d grown up around. The way the society that raised me discarded monsterkind, how they churned out lie after lie to keep us separate from them.
“That’s pretty amazing,” I said, taking in the midnight tones of the hallway. Even though it had to be daytime, there was a quiet, subterranean feel here, as if we strode through a cave. I could never live somewhere like this—at least not long term. I needed people, the sunlight, the ocean breeze to survive.
Voices came from farther down the hall where an open doorway beckoned. The scent of sweet syrup wafted our way, and my stomach rumbled again. Ursuline’s lips twitched in amusement, and they reached out to offer a hand. I laced my fingers in theirs, the gesture socking me right in the chest. We were heading to meet their friends, and they weren’t trying to hide the connection between us.
When we stepped into view, I paused at the entrance. The room was huge, a full-on dining hall filled with plenty of long tables. A chandelier dangled overhead, glittering and castingshards of light across the floor, and the place felt even more massive given that only two of the tables had occupants.
