I blinked, trying to switch my focus back to normal conversation. “Less rigid. I’ve been trying to let things flow a little more, going a bit more into impressionism.”
Jason bobbed his head, clearly approving. “You could do a lot with exploring that. Your passion is your greatest asset.”
I swallowed hard. Jason had always said that about my art, but I’d always felt in life it had been my downfall.
Ursuline’s tentacle brushed against my leg, the caress sending another shiver through me.
At least until lately.
Lately, passion had been the one thing I held onto.
Chapter 19
By the time we left the diner, we were late into the night hours. Except, I left feeling full of warmth, calm for the first time in a long time. And that was due to being in a safe place like Haven, in being with two people who showed me genuine care.
I’d never gotten that from family growing up, only from the staff members I’d formed attachments to, ones my father had inevitably ripped away. The brisk night air curled around me, the burnt sugar scent accompanying as we headed down the walkway. Tonight had started out terribly at the club, but it had ended in the best way.
“Thank you,” I said as we reached Ursuline’s car. They crooked a brow at me, so I continued. “For the rescue. For bringing Jason out. I missed him.”
“I know,” they said, an enigmatic smile on their face. “He missed you too.”
They tugged open their car door and got into the expansive driver’s seat, built to accommodate a monster. The prices for anything monster-modified were always jacked up by the larger companies, which seemed unfair, that human-based productswere the status quo. However, the more and more I learned about monsterkind and their struggles, the more I realized how much unfairness they’d weathered the moment they stepped into human-dominated spaces.
I hopped into the car alongside them and settled into the seat. They turned on the ignition, rolled down the windows, and set off through Peregrine City. The scent of asphalt, diesel, and the night swept in, and I basked in it. I’d always been more of a sunshine person until meeting Ursuline. Now, I savored the night more than ever.
“Will Frederick be upset that I left Arielle?” I asked, the thought occurring now that we were heading back.
“Frederick’s not around tonight, and Arielle’s bodyguards were relieved to not have an extra body to watch,” Ursuline stated. “I covered my bases.”
Relief settled through me. My time there had almost been easier when none of the family cared what I did. Now that Frederick wanted me paying attention to Arielle, the concern of what might happen if I stepped out of line had begun a marching drum beat of fears. The idea Jacques had disappeared lingered stronger than ever since Ursuline had filled me in. My mind had been concocting worse and worse scenarios with all the unknowns.
“Are you heading home after?” I asked. “Where do you even live?”
Ursuline’s lips twitched into a smile. “So, now you’re asking me.”
Heat flushed my cheeks. I’d wondered, but when I was with them, coherent thought tended to escape me.
“I live in an apartment not far from the Tritons’ manor,” they said. “But when I first came to the surface, I lived in the manor, which is why I’m so familiar with it. Frederick doesn’t like to let his possessions stray far.” Disgust rang clear in their voice.
“Is that why you can’t visit New Atlantis?” I asked. Fuck, had that been too intrusive a question?
Ursuline’s shoulders tightened, their expression granite. Then they let out a sigh, one heavy enough to contain years of anguish.
“You don’t have to answer,” I rushed to say, not wanting to push them.
Their grip on the wheel tightened. “I can,” they said. “The reminder is with me all the time, though, so speaking it aloud is painful.”
My throat tightened, but I didn’t dare interrupt them.
“If you live in New Atlantis, you’re either one of the few elite who can enjoy the city, or you’re the poorest of the poor, working in the mines. It’s nothing like Peregrine City. And the poor have no rights, no protections. If you can guess, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon.”
Shame flushed through me. I’d been born into high society, and I’d had issues for years with how we operated, with how we hoarded money that could help others. Yet even I was aware of how much more of a disparity there was in other areas of Westia, let alone the other continents.
Their eyebrow lifted. “Not a censure on you, sunshine. You’re rare.”
My eyes burned at their comment, and my chest squeezed tight, but I remained quiet, wanting to give them the space to talk. Still, the way they read me was incomprehensible sometimes. They understood me better than people who’d known me my entire life.
“My family was struggling, and I was the oldest of three siblings. The middle had a particularly…rough time.” They swallowed hard, a stormy look back in their gaze. “I was adept with language, with contracts. I took courses, got ahead, and I offered Frederick a deal. My family’s safety. In exchange, I’d come to the surface and work for him on retainer.”
