I pushed up from my seat and bobbed my head in a nod, shocked my legs could hold me upright. My hands balled intofists as I strode away, the melancholy settling inside me, a black void that some days I worried would swallow me whole.
He didn’t say goodbye, and I didn’t either as I exited the room. The hallway ached with a pristine silence that filtered in through my veins right now. The gold cage I’d been trapped in my entire life wouldn’t be opened.
No, if I agreed to this arranged marriage, I’d be stepping into another one.
I strode through the halls, all paste walls and fluorescent lights and a sterility that seeped inside my skin more and more every day I spent inside it. My footsteps echoed as I headed to the elevator, and thankfully no one else was in there with me for the ride down. I leaned my head against the wall and looked up at the gold accents, the polished black of the rest of the elevator cab. Theding, ding, dingechoed in my ears as I descended to the ground floor.
When it opened, I stepped into the polished foyer, filled with artificial plants, cold marble, and more soul-soaking whiteness in varying shades. The receptionists remained busy at the desk, but I wouldn’t stop and chat. Not while this anguish crept up inside me, begging for release.
I pushed the glass doors open and stepped outside. The sweet breeze beckoned me in one direction.
If I couldn’t lose myself in a painting, there was one other place I could find blissful surrender.
I hopped in my car and headed for the sea.
Chapter 2
The music blared in my car so loud it ached through my bones as I sailed down the highway.
The Sentient Sea was an hour away from Peregrine City, renamed after the Awakening a century ago when the monsters emerged. Many had come from those subterranean depths, which was another reason why Peregrine City was such a locus. I’d loved swimming there from an early age, and I couldn’t resist the constant pull to the sea, an inexplicable draw. While more monsters swam at Breakneck Beach, my preferred one, I liked being around them. I felt safer knowing those who could navigate the waters best were swimming alongside me. Out in that sea, I found a freedom I dreamed about every night when I lay down to rest.
A freedom I might never experience if I followed Angus Durand’s orders.
What else could he leverage against me at this point?
Well, I still held onto a few things. My stomach soured, and I clutched the steering wheel tighter. I didn’t know why I bothered forming any attachments. Too often, my family weaponizedthem against me, and Angus had the reach to ensure his orders were followed through.
I rolled down the window and sucked in a lungful of the salt air.
It soothed a part of me that was always broken, a balm to those jagged pieces. I let the golden sunlight wash over me, as if the rays were absolution, clearing away my troubles. And once I dove into the sea, the rest of my worries would drip away as well. The familiar signs for Breakneck Beach flashed into view, and my heart thumped a little harder.
I made the turn off the highway and caught the first glittering glimpse of the sea. The upset that had been plaguing me since the board room, since the conversation with my father, felt light-years away. Maybe I could swim as far out as possible and find an uninhabited island. Though I’d be far too lonely. Maybe a character flaw, but I’d always had a compulsory need for others.
Of course, I’d been starving for company, attention, my whole life.
The beach grew closer and closer, and I basked in the scent of the salt of the sea, the crisp wind whipping through the open window and sending strands of my hair flying in all different directions.
Breakneck Beach looked pristine, with the perfect blue sky dotted by puffy white clouds above, the calm, undulating waves of the sparkling cerulean water below. Why this cove was bluer than the rest of the area was a bit of a mystery, but most associated the color intensity with the monsters who preferred to swim there.
I might not have packed a bathing suit, but I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to dive in. After I found parking in the lot, I made quick work of getting out and then slipped off my woolen socks, my expensive cap-toe shoes. I carried them in my hand as I strode down the walkway, the slight sand dunes obscuringpatches of the beach. The second my toes sank into sand, I let out an audible exhale.
I meandered up the travel-worn path between the dunes that led right to the shore. When I stepped into view of the sea, the crash of the waves filtered in, soothing me more. Already, a few monsters lounged on the beach. A kraken sprawled beneath a bright blue umbrella, their tentacles splayed out. A shifted kelpie—similar to a black horse, but with coal-red eyes— strode along the shoreline where the waves lapped in. A mermaid splashed around farther out, their bright red hair standing out amid all that blue.
The soft granules of sand bathed my feet in warmth, and I bent down to roll my pant legs up as I strode along to find a patch of empty sand where I could leave my belongings. My parents always hated that I came here, so over the years I’d stopped telling them. They didn’t approve of a Durand associating with monsters, but they also didn’t approve of anything I did, and this was the beach where I felt safest.
I began to strip off my shirt, button by button, as if I could shed this skin and become someone else. Someone who wasn’t born with the Durand name. Someone who was free. The sun warmed my skin, and I soaked in every bit of it I could muster. I tackled my pants, kicking them off and leaving them with my discarded shirt, socks, and shoes. Down to my boxer briefs, I basked in the comfort of the beach and headed toward the water’s embrace. The sea beckoned me, glittering perfection, and I wasn’t immune to the lure.
The waves rolled up over my feet, and the burst of cool water sent a shock through me. I waded a little farther in, loving the ebb and sway, the tug at my heels every time the waves receded. This was the place I needed to be after that hellish morning.
The idea of going from my current prison to another…a shiver ran down my spine. Maybe I should run away from itall, detonate my current life and try to start over somewhere where no one knew me. The ache spread through me with an intense yearning. I waded deeper, the ocean swirling around my knees now. The cold had lessened, my body acclimating. In the distance, a few mermaids swam together, splashing, moving with an effortless grace. If only I’d been born there, in the sea. I wouldn’t be as trapped as I was on land.
I strode deeper into the water, up to my chest, the brine churning around me. The waves lifted me up with each rise, and I loved the bob out here, how I could surrender to the rhythmic motions of the water. The buoyancy made me feel for those brief, precious moments like I could be free. Like I wasn’t trapped in the prison of my birth.
If only.
I dove under the water and exulted in the feel of it surrounding me. If I had gills like some of the monsters out here, I could swim for hours and never tire, breathe without having to come up.
I kicked off and emerged above the water again, my arms moving automatically to carry me farther out. The waves rolled past me, the tug gentling as I swam past the shoreline. Three or four mermaids frolicked out here, ducking under the water then popping above it. Their giggles were buoyant, life-giving, capturing the sheer joy of being in the deeper water. I swam with the smoothness of practice, even though I didn’t have the natural grace of those around me who were attuned to the sea.
