“In the beginning,” Eddie said. “But I wouldn’t have kept itgoing if I didn’t like you. And I did, you know. Like you. That was real.”
“Istilllike you, Eddie.” Tears slid down my cheek. “Those feelings don’t go away. I thought we were close. I was so excited about our future. I thought we’d be moving in together.”
He snorted. “I think it would be a little crowded with three.”
That stung, but I guess I deserved it. Can’t have it both ways, right?
“You know what?” he said in a faux-positive voice. “It’s fine. Let’s call a truce.”
“How?” A part of me wanted to believe that was possible. Another part knew better.
“Maybe it’s the misery talking,” he said, “but if my father pulls out of this, I just want to focus on being there for him. And my mom, the twins. Maybe even Fen. I think it’s time we put our differences aside and concentrate on family. Getting better.”
“I’m sure Fen would agree,” I said tactfully, though I wasn’t sure that was true.
“You don’t know what kind of fucking pressure I’ve been under. No one understands but Fen, actually. And we’ve been at each other’s throats for so long—over what? Petty shit?”
Uh… okay. Wouldn’t exactly call getting booted out of college petty.
Eddie just gave me a tired, strange smile. “I can’t compete with my own family anymore,” he explained. “Papa always hammers me about being number one… sometimes you just get tired of trying to reach that goal, you know?”
“Not everything is a competition,” I agreed.
Eddie surprised me by putting his hand on mine, stroking my fingers a little too intimately. “Exactly. God, I love that about you. I forgot that you always know exactly the right thing to say.”
That was not trueat all. My word-pixie made sure of that.
“If my father makes it out of surgery, I have a lot of work ahead of me to prove myself again. Like, so much. It would be easier for me if Fen were on my side this time instead of being my enemy. Mama would be happier, so she’d be nicer to Papa. He’d be nicer to me. Everything would be better if Fen and I weren’t fighting.…”
For a moment, a mask slipped from his face, and I saw what Fen had been trying to tell me all along about Eddie—Machiavellian, he’d called Eddie. And maybe Eddie was, because he was sitting here, making decisions about his relationship with his brother based on what would bag him the most gain.
I wasn’t sure if that was ruthlessness, though, and maybe that was the difference between how I saw Eddie compared to how Fen did.
Fen saw an evil mastermind.
I saw a boy who needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it.
Someone stuck their head outside the door and called for Eddie. When I squinted into the shadows, I realized it was Ms. Makruhi, the Sarafians’ housekeeper.
Eddie stood up from the bench, eyes wide.
“Eduard,” she said, breathless and excited. “Your papa has woken up. He’s going to make it.”
Oh, thank God.Relief washed through me as I watchedEddie’s face. He just let his head drop slightly, as if he were saying a little prayer, then he nodded at the housekeeper.
“Tell Mama I’m coming back inside,” he said.
The housekeeper disappeared as quickly as she’d shown up, and I was left standing alone with Eddie again. “That’s such good news,” I told him.
He stiffly stuck his hands in his pockets. “I knew he’d be okay. He had to.”
I nodded. There was a different kind of awkwardness between us now. The kind of awkwardness that comes with trying to pretend things are normal in order to navigate small talk. “Uh, Mad Dog is on his way, so he’ll be here soon. I guess I’ll let you get inside to your family now,” I told him, moving a step back to extract myself.
“Thanks.”
“I’m so relieved for you.”
“Are you?” He squinted at me. A challenge.
