Fen gave me dark look that I couldn’t identify—but one thatset off a few more crackles of lightning in my chest—and then his mother interrupted what was between us, cradling his face with both hands. “Scram, my Fennec. And you’d better hopeyourfather doesn’t catch you here, or there will be hell to pay. I love you forever and ever, until the sun burns out.”
“I love you so much it feels like the sun already died,” he responded darkly.
Whowerethese people?
They were nothing like Eddie. Nothing at all. Eddie was all Serj’s boy, apparently.
And I wasn’t sure where that left me.
Jane Marlow:
Eddie, when you get this, can you please text back?
I’m pretty sure you’re in Manila right now
Jane Marlow:
They have Wi-Fi and beautiful hotels in Manila
I know for sure Gordon is staying at a five star
Jane Marlow:
Just text me when you wake up, okay?
Jane Marlow:
I talked to Fen
Jane Marlow:
Eddie?
Track [10] “Haunting”/Halsey
Fen
My body was buzzing. Iwas a hive of bees that had just been kicked, and all this pent-up energy was pinging around inside my rib cage. I needed to fly. Sting. Swarm something.
Instead, I just peeled out of the Larsens’ driveway a little too fast for Ye Old Skeleton King, my 1997 stripped Jeep, whose wheels kicked up a shit-ton of gravel while the engine protested. Nearly spun out. That’s all I needed, a rollover. I couldn’t die in a fiery crash in front of Mad Dog’s house, where my father already waited with a glass in hand to celebrate. Too easy.
“Breathe,” I told myself, gripping the wheel as soft green light glowed from my dash. All I could see was Jane’s face. The shock in her eyes when I dropped the bomb about her and Eddie wanting to find an apartment… Why did I open my big mouth? If I could’ve erased everything that happened after Mama came outside and continued from that point, who knows what would have happened.
Maybe it still could?
Jane had come back into my life. Eddie was trying todestroymy life. And because I had no self-control, I was now trying to help him get the job done faster, apparently.
“Brought this on yourself,” I told the rearview mirror. “How’re you gonna fix it?”
I couldn’t tell my mother to call off the apartment hunt. It was too late for that; I could see it in her eyes when she had her mind made up about something. But if I did nothing, I was going to lose any chance I had to have any further normal conversation with Jane. And that’s all I wanted right now.
Well…
I tried not to think too hard abouteverythingI wanted, or I really would roll the Skeleton King over on one of these rocky curves, and then we’d all end up back in a watery grave. The lake giveth, the lake taketh away.
If I was going to talk to Jane again without making the conversation go all finger-pointy and shouty, I’d need to figure out how to stop sabotaging myself. Get control of my emotions. Be a normal, polite person.
Let’s face it, I needed help. Advice. To get these fucking bees out of my body.
