“You’ve raised a fine daughter,” she told my father. “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy.”
“No, ma’am,” he said. “But she’s worth it. Would do anything for her.”
She nodded slowly. “Yes. The things we do for our children…”
But that wasn’t exactly true, was it? Because they’d kicked Fen out of the house.
As they chatted lightly, Norma’s voice crackled in my earpiece.This time, it was much louder and insistent. “Norma for Jane, repeat—Norma for Jane!”
Shit. I turned my head to the side and pressed the talk function on my earpiece cord. “Pool patio,” I informed her in a low voice, reporting my location.
“You have a visitor at the front door of the main house,” she hissed unhappily.
“Go again?” I said, not comprehending how this could be true.
“Unauthorized visitor, front door. Make it fast.”
I didn’t know anyone here, and I didn’t want to be torn away from Jasmine. But it was getting really dark now, and they were bringing out all the small plates that Velvet wanted circulating. If I was going to slip away, now was a good time. So I excused myself, leaving Jasmine with my father—who had heard Norma’s message over the walkie and was giving me the eyebrow arch of the century. I just shook my head, confused, and swiftly headed back through the main house, into the foyer, past the giant floral arrangement.
Making myself small, I peeped through the sidelight at the entrance to see if I could tell who was there.
A dark figure stood on the porch, back turned to the big front doors.
I took a deep breath.
The figure turned around when I cracked open the left door, and the porch light shone down on his face.
Fen.
“Having a fancy party, are we?” he said, hands clasped behindhis back and rocking forward on scuffed black low-tops. He was standing at a funny angle, as if he was hiding something. “Must be, if Mad Dog’s got some Ravi Shankar wannabe cranking out tunes. What the shit is going on in there? Are people dropping acid? And why are you dressed like a member of Charles Manson’s cult? This isn’t very metal.”
A storm of confused emotions gathered inside my chest and threw bolts of lightning around my body. I’d just spent the last fifteen minutes talking to his mother. Nowheappears?
Had I angered some god?
He shouldn’t be here.
“W-what are you…?” I started.
“Doing here?” he finished, squinting as he pushed hair out of his eyes that was an utter disaster. He nodded toward the cars parked in the gravel driveway: two luxury sedans up front, and past them, a white Jeep with no doors, just a skeletal frame—every flat surface covered in band decals, muddy tires. “Funny, because that’s what I said to myself when I drove up and spotted my parents’ BMW. Did someone forget my invite, or maybe it got lost in the mail?”
“Your parents are guests of Mad Dog.” I was tempted to leave it at that and shut the door in his dumb face, but he was wearing a T-shirt (big block print on the front,PSYCHO KILLER, and in a talk bubble,QU’EST-CE QUE C’EST) with the sleeves cut off, which was infuriating, because it was as if he was trying to show off his arms. Like,Look at me, I’m skinny and muscular—it’s not even hot outside, but I’m going walk around with nude arms, like a swaggeryguttersnipe.Ugh! He just set every cell in my body on fire withfury.
“You’re trespassing,” I told him dumbly.
“On the front steps? I rang the doorbell… a mean woman sneered at me and then went to fetch you. That’s not trespassing. A delivery person trespasses far more than me.”
“Why are you here?”
“You asked that already,” he said, pulling out a paper bag stamped withVICTORY VINYLfrom behind his back. It was crinkled around a long object, and from the shape and the pirate hat sticking out of the top, I could guess what. “Left your phallic toy at my place of business.”
“It’s Captain Pickles. Don’t say it like it’s dirty.”
“Please. First, dogs love me. Second, there are dildos at the sex shop down the street from us that are less raunchy. Maybe your little guy is trying to tell you something. Is he neutered?”
“Sheis spayed. Her name is Frida Kahlo. Put some respect on it when you say it.”
“Damn, okay,” he said. “Didn’t know she was the reincarnation of a famous painter.”
