“Didn’t ask you to. Have said a million times that I will turn myself in.”
“If you do, I’ll never forgive you.”
Breath comes faster through my nostrils.
He wants honesty from me? Fine. Let’s do this.
“Is that why you did it?” I ask.
“Did what?”
“Is that why you took the fall for me? For the department store window? Because you’re scared my mom’s going to take me away again, and you’re trying to keep me here?”
Surprise widens his eyes—just for a moment. It’s quickly replaced by anger.
“I did it for a lot of reasons.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.”
“Name one,” I challenge.
“Okay, fine. You want to know one reason why?”
“Yes.”
“One reason I did it is because what happened at the party that night was shitty, and you were upset, and that made me upset, and Adrian Summer is obviously a complete asshole, so, yeah. It was unfair that you were going to get dragged through the mud for a stupid window that his dad can afford to replace a million times over. So I thought, what did it matter if I got dirty? Because unlike you, I actuallydodeserve to get punished. I’m not good. I’m a scarred-up monster who nearly got his little cousin killed because I wasn’t watching her when I should’ve been, so what does it matter? That’s one reason why I did it,” he says, his face a rocky cliff being thrashed by a sea of dark emotions. “Because I deserve it.”
I blink.
The red safelight glows above our heads in the crampeddarkroom, but the light inside my head is clear and bright: Lucky hasn’t gotten over the fire at the lake house. The rumors. The bad reputation. The sullen attitude. The detention. I watch the turbulent emotions swirling around his face until they change into something else that I can’t quite identify.
“I should go,” he says in a rough voice, eyes on the floor, trying to move around me.
I block the door with my body.
He looks shocked.
I’m surprised, myself.
“You can’t live in the past, always thinking about the lake house fire,” I tell him. “You’re not a monster, and you don’t deserve to be punished for something that happened years ago. Your cousin survived.Yousurvived.”
“Some days it feels like it just happened yesterday, and everyone still blames me for not watching her.”
“You can’t really believe that.”
His chest rises and falls as he gazes down at me, blinking in tremolo. “Oh, okay. So I guess you’re going to tell me what I can and can’t believe now?” he says, as if he desperately, secretly wants me to but is far too proud to ask.
“If you’re going to believe stupid things, then, yes. That’s my duty as your friend.”
He snorts softly. “Oh, you mean like your stupid love curse?”
“Hey, tell it to my mom. She’s the one who says it’s ruined all the Saint-Martins’ love lives.”
“Has it, though?” he asks as if he’s eager not to talk about himself anymore.
“I’ve never been in love, so don’t have any firsthand experience.” I try to make a lighthearted joke. “Guess I was too busy traveling the world—and I guessyouwere just plain busy. Maybe not with Bunny, but I know there have been other girls. Come on.”
