“So, maybe you were more concerned that Adrian was high on painkillers, and that he might spill the beans about where he got the photo from—so you were trying to cut him off before he could spit it out!”
“Josie, that’s …”
“That’s what?” I say, feeling delirious and a little unstable.
He shakes his head. “Ludicrous.”
“Is it?” I say, voice sounding funny. “Because I also got to thinking about other little white lies you’ve told me.”
“Like what?”
“Like that you knew thatyourDrew Sideris the blacksmith was my mom’s Drew Sideris from high school—the same Drew who later joined the navy because my grandmother wouldn’t let them be together. The same Drew that I asked you if you knew, and you claimed that you didn’t!”
Lucky points a finger at me and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Ah-ha!” I say. “You lied.”
“I never lied … exactly.”
“Youknew.”
“What was I supposed to do, Josie?” he says, throwing up both hands. “I was caught in the middle. He specifically asked me not to say anything as a favor to him—said that the past was the past and asked me to stay out of it.”
I’m confused now, because thatsoundssensible. But it also hurts, because this Drew person feels like someone he’s close to, and he’s someone my mom was going to elope with, and I barely know anything about this guy! Meanwhile, Lucky and I are supposed to be as close as two people can get—I mean, we definitely were on the island—and I feel like that should override whatever loyalty he has to some random blacksmith mentor. Shouldn’t it?
I don’t know, but I don’t like how frantic I feel. “I pushed the button! You told me to lift the invisible wall and be teeth-gratingly honest with you. That’s supposed to go both ways.”
He stares at me, silent, the lines of his face sharp as glass.
“When I asked you if you knew a retired navy guy named Drew, and youknewwho I was talking about, you should have told me,” I insist, but I’m feeling less sure about it.
“Itwasn’t my business, okay? Try to understand my point of view, here, Josie. I’m just trying to do right by everyone. And I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to keep anyone’s secrets for long, because I can’t see how Drew and your mom can live in the same town and avoid each other forever, frankly.” He shakes that thought away and then says, “But what does it even have to do with Adrian and the photo?”
“Because if you lied about that—”
“Again, Ididn’tlie. I stayed out of someone’s business.”
“Did you or did you not send Adrian that photo of my mother?”
“The fact that you would even think I would do it … that you would evenquestionit for one second is so goddamn hurtful,” he says. “I would never think that about you—I wouldneverdoubt you like that.”
“Then just say you didn’t do it. Swear it.”
“No, I won’t. You just have to trust me. Like I trusted you.”
My chest suddenly feels as if a mixing truck has backed up to it and is dumping ten tons of wet cement inside my ribcage. I press a fist into my breastbone to loosen the sickening tightness. Because the worst thing is, he’s right. Idohave doubts. I’m ashamed that I do, and I’m confused that I do, and I just want him to assure me that he didn’t do it.
“You can’t do it, can you?” Lucky says in a dark, rough voice.
“It’s easier for you!” I say, feeling hot tears filling up my eyes. “Trust is simple for you because your life is stable in Beauty, and you’ve got a normal family who loves you and makes you feel safe and secure.”
“So do you!”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
“Oh, really? Your mom doesn’t count? Your grandmother doesn’t count? Evie doesn’t count? You’ve got just as much of a family here as me. You’ve got roots here, too—Jesus, Josie. You’re always going on about that stupid curse. Your family’s been here longer than mine has. This is your home as much as it is mine.”
“It may be my home, but my family isn’t like yours—it’s fractured and screwed up!”
