I wanted to ask exactly what that trouble was. But he was speaking as if he were talking to himself, animated, wrist slung over the wheel, simultaneously steering the van while flicking his hand up to gesture. “So, there’s that. And everything wasn’t all peachy when I dropped you off at the ferry, you know. You acted sort of distant, and that mademefeel weird. And when you texted, you were all matter-of-fact, soIwas all matter-of-fact. And as far as what I was doing earlier today before work, I have a monthly appointment that I can’t miss. Like, no excuses. And after my appointment, I was feeling better and more confident about everything, but then I got to work, and you were hiding from me. So... there you go.”
Oh.
Huh.
He’d said... a lot. And I was sorting it all out in my head, but it was taking too long, and I kept getting stuck on the appointment thing; I doubted it was for a mandatory pedicure. But before I could think too much about it, he was pulling over to the curb in front of a Pioneer Square restaurant crowned with neon dragons, so I just said, “You weren’t sorry we went out?”
Daniel shifted the van into park. “Even with the drama, it was the best date I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“It was the only date I’ve ever had, but it was still the best.”
“Only?” He swiveled in his seat and stared at me with a look of concern.
I felt my cheeks getting warm. “I’ve had relationships,” I said, thinking of last summer’s fling with Will Collins under the basketball hoop. “Just not official, we’re-a-couple-in-public dates. My grandmother was insanely strict and overprotective.”
“I...” His face went through several contortions. “I don’t understand that, like, at all. And it—”
“It’s weird,” I said quickly. “I get it.”
“Weird is fine. Trust me. Weird and me are like this,” he said, crossing his fingers.
I chuckled, nervous.
“It’s just...” He imitated a bomb noise and made an exploding gesture at his temple. “My brain is like, whoa. You better do things right with this girl, because you’re normally a huge screwup. And that’s a lot of pressure.”
“Well, that’s dumb,” I mumbled.
“Umm...?”
“It’s dumb,” I said again. “I don’t like when you push me away or keep secrets. It makes me anxious, and I need you not to do that. I want it to be like it was between us that afternoon on the ferry ride into the city. Remember?”
“I remember,” he said softly.
“Everything felt natural and good, and I wasn’t worried you were keeping things from me. I want that. And”—I took a deep breath—“I want what we did in the secret mansion room too. I think? Maybe you’re right, and maybe it could be better than it was the first time between us. I don’t know. But if we can’t have everything, if it’s either just a sex thing or a Nick and Nora partnership thing between us, then I guess I choose Nick and Nora. But I don’t understand why we can’t have both. Why is it so hard? Is this normal? Can’t it be easier than this?”
But what I didn’t say was that deep down I was worried the problem was me. Because deep down I was worried that there was something he wasn’t saying. Maybe it was the secret that the kids at Clue for Couples had brought up. But what if it was something else? My frightened-rabbit heart cowered in the corner; it didnotwant to think about this too much.
He blinked at me. And then he said—
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay,” he repeated, exhaling and nodding several times.
I honestly had no idea what he was agreeing to and was just about to ask him when he leaned over the wheel to see around me. He waved to someone outside my passenger window, a bespectacled middle-aged woman in an apron who was holding the door open for a customer and smiling at us. “That’s Annie, the owner. Hold on. I have to pick up this food. Don’t go anywhere.”
I wasn’t sure where he expected me to go after midnight on a street full of bars. I sat there, deep in thought, going over everything he’d said, and tried to fill in some of the blanks on my mental profile of him.
Suspect:Daniel Aoki
Age:19
Occupation:Hotel van driver, graveyard shift
