Background:Born on Bainbridge Island to Carlos and Iris Rivera, who managed a local theatrical playhouse before recently moving out of state. No siblings. Became best friend of Lily Lindberg when they were ten years old. Dated Leon Snodgrass twice, her only serious boyfriend; after second time, said she was done with relationships and would never marry or settle down, never have kids of her own. [Come to think of it, every time she says she’ll “never” do something, she almost always does it: i.e., now pregnant.]
Additional notes:Made excuses when Leon showed up this summer, saying they weren’t dating, yet acting weird and avoiding my questions [because she was secretly pregnant], and then Leon hugged me and said nothing would change [because he knew she was pregnant].
And, oh yeah:MONA IS GD PREGNANT.
My mouth tried to make words, but nothing came out for several moments. When I finally found my voice, I asked, “And Leon... This is why he came back? Because of the baby?”
“Yes and no? He was planning to come back anyway. He hates Austin. But yeah. He wants to be involved. And I’ve been trying to decide how I feel about that... and about him. We aren’t getting married or anything. That’s why I saw a lawyer. I wanted to know what options I had. Like, what if we don’t get along and he wants custody in a couple of years?”
“Good grief.”
“It’s not like I expect that to happen or anything. I just... God, Birdie. I just don’t know. I’m old and set in my ways. Look at me! I’m a fucking mess. My income is erratic, and I don’t keep normal hours. I’m completely irresponsible—I just stole a painting in broad daylight!”
“It wasyourpainting.”
“I know, but responsible adults are supposed to behave, and I’m a terrible behaver.” She sighed heavily. “The scariest part about it is trying to figure out how I feel about Leon. He’s completely my opposite, and we’ve never been able to stay together for longer than a year or two. I mean, we’re friends. Good friends. Great in bed together.”
“Ugh,” I complained. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“But the most important thing is that he seems completely committed. He’s offering financial support—which I desperately need—and he bought a new condo in Winslow, less than ten minutes from here. He wants to change diapers and all that. He’s a good guy, and Ilikehim—I know you don’t.”
“I don’t dislike him.”
She lightly shoved my shoulder. “Liar.”
“I don’t like how he treated you, that’s all.”
“It wasn’t just him. It was how we treated each other. Trust me, I’m not wife material. I’m not even mother material—look around! Can you see me raising a kid in here?”
“Well, yeah,” I said, choking up. “You already did.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. She reached for me, and I reached for her, and we held each other, both sobbing our eyes out. And then she cradled my face and said, “Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m healthy. The baby’s healthy. I’ve already had an ultrasound, and everything’s how it should be. And I’ll take every single test the doctor offers me, and I’ll go to all my appointments. I’m not Lily.”
“I know that.”
“I will never leave you.”
“But I’m so scared you will,” I admitted in a whisper.
“Birdie, when I say I won’t, I mean it. I’m not moving away, and I will never desert you.Ever,” she said, swiping beneath her eyes. “Besides, I may need you more than you need me.”
“I doubt that.”
“Are you kidding? I’m about to burden you with a lifetime commitment. I can’t do this alone. This kid is going to need an aunt.”
I sniffled and laughed. “That’s insane. We can’t both be aunts.”
“We can do whatever we GD want, Birdie. I have to believe that,” she said, hands cupping my face. “And I need you to believe it too, because I really need a friend right now.”
I smiled back at her as a fierce sort of joy filled my chest. “Now,thatI can handle.”
“To tell you the truth, I lied a little.”
—PI J. J. “Jake” Gittes,Chinatown(1974)
29
The next few days zipped by like the monorail on an overcast day. If I wasn’t busy reading pregnancy books with Aunt Mona, I was researching what I could about the Seattle Opera and texting with Grandpa—who was returning home this weekend. And when I wasn’t doing all that, I was working at the hotel, trying to stifle the urge to throw my arms around Daniel every time he passed through the lobby.
